Don't ask me why
Oct 04, 2020 1:45 am
Read Time: 1 min, 53 secs
Why does my wife always ask, "Why?"
Why does it bother me so much?
Why did I just ask you two "Why?" questions, and it didn't bother me at all?!?
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Cetelia and I went walking about an hour ago, and the following was a snippet of our conversation:
Me: Will you hold my glasses?
Her: You know I ask why just to gather information?
Me: I didn't think you'd need to know why I want you to hold my glasses.
Her: I didn't know if something was wrong or what.
Cetelia didn't mean any harm when she asked why, and likely never does.
Still, when she asks me why, I don't take it well.
As I told her, it feels like she's against me and simply trying to block whatever I'm doing.
As you can probably guess, she doesn't see it that way at all.
I just asked her why she asks, "Why?" and here's her response:
So she can:
- get more information
- know how to respond
- have an awareness of what's going on
- have a fuller picture
- learn my motivation
- figure out the details
I can respect that list. It makes sense. Reading the responses doesn't offend me.
But, when she asks me why instead of answering my question, it drives me nuts (go ahead, call me shallow).
Oddly, when other people who are not my wife ask me why, I'm not in the least offended. I expect it, and have a response ready.
For some reason, however, it feels like my wife is against me when she asks why. The crazy thing is, I know she's not.
Let me turn here and ask about you before this feels anymore like a therapy session.
- Do you have a problem with why?
- Are you the husband or wife?
- Do you feel it's a gender thing?
- Are men more sensitive?
- Why do you think that is? (just kidding)
I haven't conducted any type of research, but I feel like husbands see it as a shot against their ego, judgment, and value when their wife asks them why.
I cannot make it make any sense for the wives reading this, so I won't try.
Anyhow, if you're a wife, ask your husband how he feels when you answer, "Why?" to one of his questions.
And for goodness sake, don't ask him why when he responds. 😂
Maybe say something like, "Hmmm, interesting. What do you think is behind that?"
I believe that will help him talk more without getting agitated.
Little things like "Why?" can ruin a perfectly good conversation because we're different and have wildly varying preferences and sensibilities.
Assess where you are with the question why or other seemingly small things that tend to upset you.
This is just another example of what makes marriage so stinkin' difficult.
We need God's power to help us, especially when little things like this get us agitated.
Why do the little things tend to derail us?
Don't ask me why.