What can a sneeze teach you about marriage? 🤧

Nov 12, 2020 4:46 pm

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I have to be honest with you.


There's a part of me (read: my ego) that wants to come up with some mega-marriage revelation that will astound the masses and leave them awestruck at the size of my cloud (h/t Donnie).


But, so far, I haven't had any.


However, the stuff I do come up with is so basic...so common...so practical. You might even call it boring.


It's stuff like The Sneeze.


The sneeze is such a benign part of life that we don't focus on it, until one of three things happens:


a) The sneezer doesn't cover his/her mouth (especially in 2020!)


b) The sneezer doesn't say, "Excuse me."


c) The observer of the sneeze doesn't say, "Bless you.'


The sneeze is instructive, and teaches us a key marriage lesson: unmet expectations lead to irritation, anger, and bitterness.


Let's begin.


We expect someone who's sneezing to cover their mouth, right?


It keeps the air and surfaces around them free of their germs, which can keep us and others from getting wet and/or sick.


But, what happens when a person doesn't cover their mouth?


We're irritated, and may lash out because It bucks up against our expectation of what should happen when you sneeze.


Because we're so focused on the non-cover, we don't even bother to say, "Bless you."


Meanwhile, the sneezer is irritated because we didn't follow-through on what should happen after someone sneezes.


Finally, if the sneezer didn't say, "Excuse me" after sneezing, we completely come undone!


The sneezer has violated two of our expectations, we've violated one of the sneezer's expectations, and we're both irritated and annoyed.


This metaphorical sneeze happens all the time in your marriage.


Your spouse is all hot and bothered when you don't follow-through on his/her expectations. Likewise, you're in your feelings when he/she doesn't follow-through on your expectations.


Sound familiar?


There are multiple ways to handle unmet expectations.


One that I'll share here is distinguishing between desires and stated commitments that you can legitimately expect your mate to act on.


If your spouse never committed to whatever you're expecting, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.


There's more to this, and more solutions in the recording Expectations Gone Wrong.


You can access the recording inside Marriage Works +.


Upon registering, you'll get access to all the material we'll continue to add on a frequent basis.


Check out Expectations Gone Wrong.


And, for goodness' sake, cover your mouth correctly, and say, "Excuse me" and "God bless you."


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Kevin

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