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Want to get more out of your marriage?

1. Give more
2. Expect less
3. Look for good

Give More. Giving more when you want to get more out of your marriage seems backwards, I know. But, for a moment, think about it in terms of something you're passionate about. You've probably noticed that when you barely put effort into it, the returns are minimal at best, and absent at worst. Same goes for your marriage. If you don't put much of anything into it, it's silly to expect to expect to get something out of it. So, to get more out of your marriage, give more.

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Expect Less. Since we're talking about expectations, let me suggest that when you expect more than you should, you wind up disappointed. While it's normal and okay to expect your mate to do things he/she committed to, it's not okay to expect him/her to do things that you want done without their buy-in. You end up frustrating your mate and yourself. The result is that one or both of you will begin checking out of the marriage because it's too disappointing to stay engaged. So, to get more out of your marriage, expect less.

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Look for Good. I can tell you from personal experience that you're going to get less out of your marriage if you're always looking for faults, double-standards, and irritations. Makes sense, right? Still, the temptation to look for bad in your marriage is there. It's kinda like the news. If they only reported positive stuff, the viewership would drop. We're prone to look for the negative instead of the good. But, if you're going to get the most out of your marriage, you're going to need to actively look for things that are true, honorable, just, pure, and lovely. When you see these things, you'll be motivated to keep giving (see #1), and you'll get more out of your marriage.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

Kevin