No Romance Without ___ance
Oct 19, 2020 11:43 am
Reading Time: 2 mins, 11 secs
Over the past few days you've heard from Mack, Conrad, Jackie, and Julie. Today you'll hear from my man in Chicago -- Donnie Bryant. I'll tell you a bit more after Donnie when he's done.
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All this talk about the Bullards moving into a new house reminds me of an old song…
“Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On But the Rent” by Gwen Guthrie.
Remember that one?
“You got to have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me”
“Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent”
The song is catchy. But its main idea -- no romance without finance -- is 99% wrong.
Yes, a lot of couples fight over money. It’s named as one of the top reasons people get divorced, too.
I’m not denying that financial frustrations are real.
But the thing that kills romance is NOT the lack of finance.
It’s a lack of pursuance.
Here’s what I mean:
Both husbands and wives need to make an on-going commitment to pursue their spouse. To make them feel pursued on a regular basis.
It’s not easy…
A thousand distractions cry for your attention every day… a thousand fires threaten to burn down your life if you don’t deal with them right away.
Plus, there are a thousand good things you’d like to fit into your schedule, too.
It’s so easy to let pursuing your spouse slip lower and lower on the ever-growing to-do list.
And we can rationalize it, too!
I remember my incredible (and incredibly patient) wife telling me she felt like I was neglecting her on multiple occasions. Truth is, that’s exactly what I was doing.
But I justified my decision because I was trying to get my career off the ground. I told her I was putting other people first because I knew she would forgive me. And I thought she should understand that.
I traded romance with no finance... for a little finance with no romance.
Not a good move.
It's so easy to take our spouse for granted. Or expect their affection to come automatically.
We allow distance to creep in. Suddenly one or both spouses feel neglected, unappreciated or even unwanted.
Here’s what we have to keep in mind:
In many traditional marriage vows, one of your promises is to "forsake all others" and make your spouse your top priority “as long as you both shall live”
We should pursue our spouses with the same intentionality and relentlessness as we had when we made that vow before God, family and friends.
Please note: this applies to husbands and wives equally.
Yes, husbands want to be pursued too.
Even if we never say it out loud, men want to feel appreciated, admired and desired.
Whether you’re a husband or a wife, I encourage you to renew that vow to “forsake all others” in your heart today.
And take the first step right away.
It could change EVERYTHING in your marriage.
P.S. If you’ve already developed distance between you and your spouse, Kevin has created a video training to help you identify and overcome the 6 kinds of marital distance. You can access that training in the “Intimacy” section inside MarriageWorks+.
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Awesome message, Donnie. Thank you.
Although Donnie gave a marriage-themed message today, he's usually teaching entrepreneurs and business professionals how to write emails that alluring and profitable. If you fit in this category, you should definitely check out Inbox X-Factor. Email Donnie for more details.
ps - I'll be back tomorrow with original content (and news about a giveaway!)