In their book On Grief & Grieving, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler provide a roadmap through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But, before those stages are are visited, they describe the experience of anticipatory grief.

Unlike traditional grief that occurs after a loss has occurred, anticipatory grief happens before the actual event, typically in situations where death or significant change is imminent. This grief can manifest in various ways, including feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, and even relief.

Regarding the five stages of grief, perhaps the most essential thing to realize is that the stages are non-linear, meaning they don't occur in a particular order nor only one time. Rather, they can occur in any order over an unspecified period of time, whether it be months, days, years, or even decades. And, this varies from person to person.

E.g. anger due to a divorce could be followed by depression that it happened, then denial that it has actually happened while bargaining to change things. Acceptance could follow, then anger could arise again. Due to each of us being different, it's futile and potentially offensive to dictate which stage of grief a person should be experiencing.

While grief is personal and unpredictable, there is a wonderful and precious promise from God's word that applies to every griever in every stage and every season: "[God] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]" (Psalm 147:3, AMPC).

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Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, in the midst of the complexities of grief, I turn to You for solace and understanding. As I navigate the uncharted territory of emotions, grant me the strength to face the waves denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance that may wash over me. Help me find comfort knowing that you heal the brokenhearted, and bind up their wounds. Heal me, God, and bind up my wounds. Amen.

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Reflection

1. In what areas of your life do you sense you're currently experiencing anticipatory grief?

2. Reflect on a personal experience with grief. How does understanding the non-linear progression of grief's stages impact your perspective on the journey?

3. How does the assurance from Psalm 147:3 provide comfort and hope to you?

Watch: Grieving Well, Pt 1

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