You can't listen and lecture at the same time

Sep 13, 2023 8:56 am

The very phrase "Back to Church Sunday" signals that a person coming back was attending church at one point, and then stopped coming.


It's important that you allow the person you're inviting to share with you what happened that made them stop.


It's even more important that you don't try to justify what happened, explain it, spiritualize it, make them wrong for how they feel, or try to clean up the situation. The most effective and best thing you can do is to listen.


People who have been hurt at church need to heal, and often one of the best methods God uses is to put someone in their life who can simply listen to and be with them.


Several years ago in North Carolina I suffered deep hurt at church with my best friend. There was nothing anyone could do to "fix" the situation. What helped, however, was having someone I could talk to without fear of judgment, allowing me to see both my perspective and the other person's perspective. That led to me seeing where I was in the wrong for things I had done, and where I needed to forgive.


God ultimately made the situation as right as it could get given it involved two fallen, strong-willed humans. It took time, but the situation, a relationship, and my heart were all healed. What made it happen was someone being available to listen to me.


Listen: to make a conscious effort to hear; attend closely


Listening to others is not the same as hearing what they have to say, then talking twice as long as they while you give them all the answers, and lay out point-by-point what they need to do.


Although we may mean well and want to be helpful, our talking and instructions on what to do next often get in the way of them hearing God for themselves and discovering for themselves what they need to do.


Sure, there's a place for giving godly wisdom and sharing scriptures. At the same time, listening that truly makes a difference is hearing what someone has to say, recreating them (giving back to them what they've said), then asking follow-up questions based on what they've said.


By listening like this, you wind up helping them bear their troubles and problems. (Galatians 6:2)


You, , could be the key in someone coming back to church who swore they'd never be back. The level of your listening could make all the difference in the world.


As you invite people back to church this week, listen much and speak little (James 1:19), and pray for God to move in their heart in a way that brings healing and restoration.



Prayer:


Lord, guide my heart to truly listen and understand those around me, especially those who've felt distant from Your love. Grant me the wisdom to speak less and hear more, embracing the stories and pains of others with compassion. Help me to be an instrument of Your healing, showing others the depth of Your love through my actions and presence. Amen.

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