Hi, ,

One of the biggest breakthroughs I’ve had recently is understanding that the way I listen—especially to my wife—has been about protecting myself. I’ve been listening with a shield up, assuming that she’s just trying to spare my feelings or isn’t being completely sincere. This has been my way of avoiding disappointment, rejection, or vulnerability.

But here’s the thing: this protective listening is actually keeping me disconnected. It stops me from truly hearing Cetelia or letting her in. I’m realizing that if I want deeper connection, I need to shift my listening. Instead of listening from a place of protection, what if I listened from curiosity? What if I entertained the possibility that she might actually mean the loving things she says?

Shifting from protection to curiosity means challenging the story I’ve been telling myself and opening up to the idea that she could be sincere and loving. It’s not about blindly accepting everything—it’s about being open to the possibility that I’ve been wrong. And honestly, that’s a little terrifying. But it’s also exciting, because it creates the space for something new and deeper to emerge in our relationship.

So, I’m trying this out: listening to her from a place of curiosity and openness, instead of doubt. It’s a work in progress, but I’m already starting to notice the difference. I invite you to try this, too—whether with your spouse or anyone you care about.

Shift your listening and see what happens.

Kevin