Dear ,
Think about the last argument / debate / fight you and your spouse had.
How convinced are you that you were right?
Exactly!
You are are extremely convinced you were right.
Here's the kicker: Your spouse thought he/she was right, too.
That's marriage being human for you.
I want to give you a term that explains this phenomenon: reality illusion.
Reality illusion describes how we can all view the same situation / object, yet see something completely different.
For example, look at the following pictures of clouds. While it's possible that you and I may see the same design in each one, it's also entirely possible that we'll see something different.
Heck, I see at least five different things in the first picture alone (a spaceship, torch, anvil, drill, and a massage gun).
You may see any of those or none at all.
And guess what? You and I both exactly right because it's our interpretation of what's so (clouds in the sky is what's so).
When you and your mate have a disagreement, there's typically something that's so, i.e., the actual facts of the case.
But, your humanity causes you to do a couple of things:
1) attach an interpretation to what's so (aka reality illusion), and
2) use that interpretation as the source of your rightness (and your mate's wrongness).
Please understand that you're not a bad person for doing this. Shoot, you don't even realize you're doing it!
It's automatic, and part of being human.
It happens before you even realize it has happened.
Therefore, stopping it altogether probably won't ever happen, and that's okay.
However, there's something you can do about it, and I'll share that in the next email.
Between now and then, here's some fieldwork for you:
Click here to answer two questions to see if you can identify reality illusion in your marriage.
There's no right or wrong answer, and we'll ship two free Marriage Works! wristbands to one lucky responder!
Don't delay! Like a cloud formation, these questions will disappear before you know it (Sun, 8/21 to be exact).
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