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Cetelia and I first started working with couples in 2001 when I began pastoring. We took it up a notch in 2009 when we started Marriage Works!

While no one has asked me this particular question, I know it has been in the mind of thousands of husbands and wives ...

"What if it doesn't work?

To a certain degree, I believe this question feels common to us all.

We read a marriage book that advises us to do X-Y-Z. We get excited, and then we remember the state of our marriage. After a few seconds we nervously ask, "What if it doesn't work?"

Or ... we have a positive marriage counseling session, and the therapist gives us some homework. We feel hopeful, then remember what happened the last time we felt hope after a session. Feeling unsure and defeated, we can't help but ask, "What if it doesn't work?"

Before you feel bad about asking this question, I want to assure you that you're not the only one asking this question.

There's a wife in Georgia reading this email, and she's asking this question.

There's a husband in Arizona reading this, and he's asking this question.

There's a newlywed couple in Chicago wondering the same thing.

What if it doesn't work?

Whether we want to admit it or not, there's a real possibility that we can ...

• say the right things
• perform the correct actions
• take the popular assessment
• pray the perfect prayer
• attend the best conference
• speak the correct love language

and none of it will work on getting our spouse to ...

• cheer up
• believe what we say
• calm down
• have sex
• trust us
• stop going through our phone
• talk to us more
• be nicer

or whatever it is that we'd like to see come to pass in our marriage.

So, does that mean we should do nothing since it might not work?

Not at all.

Here's what the philosopher wrote in Ecclesiastes 11:4-6:

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. God’s ways are as mysterious as the pathway of the wind and as the manner in which a human spirit is infused into the little body of a baby while it is yet in its mother’s womb. Keep on sowing your seed, for you never know which will grow—perhaps it all will.

It's totally possible that what we try to make our marriage won't work.

And ... it's totally possible that it may work.

We never quite know what the result will be, so it's best that we keep on sowing our seed.

Instead of doing nothing because it might not work, practice doing something because there's a chance it just might work.

Kevin