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Tim wanted to invest $2500 in a marketing opportunity, but knew his wife, Jill, would be against it.

She'd think it was too risky, and would be concerned that they'd be out of $2500 they desperately needed.

Because Tim didn't want to engage with Jill, he resisted bringing it up with her until he couldn't hold off any longer.

When they finally had the conversation, Jill said ...

- - - -

You've likely heard of FOMO: Fear of Missing Out

Today I'd like to introduce you to the other FOMO: Fear of Mate Opposition

On some level in some way, we all want to avoid the opposition that comes from our mate.

It could be that he/she opposes a financial move we want to make, our diet, our friends, our place of work, or even the God we serve.

This marriage FOMO can cause us to practice avoidant behavior. While sidestepping controversy with our mate may keep things quiet for a while, at some point we're gonna have to have that moment of truth that causes pressure, anxiety, and yes, fear.

I have been here more than once with Cetelia. I have feared her opposition, and avoided bringing things to her.

As I explore it, it's not because I was so much afraid of what she'd say about the idea or action, but rather what she'd think about me. 

You see, I was not secure in the strength of my marriage nor who I am in Christ, and I felt that if Cetelia opposed my actions, choices, or ideas then she was opposing me as a person.

Not true.

How about you? 

When you avoid your mate, do you do it because deep down you feel like you're going to be rejected as a person?

If so, you're a good candidate to see a therapist so you can work through your self-defeating mindset (I'm speaking from experience here).

When you have marriage FOMO, you actually wind up missing out on the opportunity to strengthen your marriage through healthy conflict, constructive criticism, and brainstorming.

Acknowledge and address the issues causing your marriage FOMO.

Doing so will help make your marriage work.

Kevin

ps - Haven't joined the 23-day challenge to make things better in your marriage? You can do it now!

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