One pattern I keep seeing in marriages

May 13, 2026 1:16 pm

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It’s been a while since I’ve written here.


Over the years working with married couples, one pattern I’ve seen in a lot of marriages is this:


When people stop feeling loved well, they slowly stop loving well too.


Not usually all at once.


But gradually, and it show in behaviors like these:


  • One or both spouses starts keeping score.


  • They pull back emotionally.


  • They stop speaking each other’s love language because their own no longer feels seen, valued, or understood.


And over time, emotional distance quietly grows.


Not always through major conflict. Sometimes just through disappointment, assumptions, resentment, and the limiting stories spouses begin believing about each other.


Stories like:


  • “They don’t care.”
  • “Nothing changes.”
  • “Why should I keep trying?”


That’s part of what led me to create something new called:

After the Love Is Gone


It’s a 5-week guided online experience where we’ll explore:


  • love languages
  • emotional disconnect
  • limiting stories
  • covenant
  • resentment
  • and what intentional love actually looks like in difficult seasons of marriage


Not in a surface-level way.


But in practical, honest, real-life ways.


If that resonates with where you are right now, you can learn more here:


>> http://afterthelove.marriage.works


Kevin

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