Earlier today I was on the phone with my brother, and I used my turn signal.

He immediately said what he always says, "You nee to do fix that signal."

My brother things my turn signal is obnoxiously loud.

Maybe he's right.

At the same time, the engineers who designed it think it's working just as it's supposed to.

Here's the point: my brother has a problem with something that's not actually broken.

No matter how much he makes it wrong, it's simply not wrong. Rather, it's something he doesn't prefer.

Hmmmm....

Let's map this distinction onto your marriage.

There are things that irritate you about your spouse (too slow, too fast, talks too much, doesn't talk enough, always on time, always late, super clean, super messy, too sensitive, not sensitive enough, always wants sex, never wants sex, too many friends, not enough friends, too big, too small, never touches, touches all the time, and the list goes on and on).

Given this list of irritations, consider these two questions:

1. What if these things are normal about your mate (just like they're normal about you)?

2. What if "your mate's problem" is actually your problem with your mate?

I'd love to hear what you're discovering from this email. Click here to let me know.

Kevin

What are you discovering? Click here.