Ask your spouse this sex question 💋
Oct 17, 2020 3:56 pm
Read Time: 2 mins, 10 secs
The past three days you've heard from Mack, Conrad, and Jackie.
Well, today you're in for a double treat.
First, because you're hearing from a female. And secondly, because it's my friend, Julie Sibert from Omaha, who absolutely, positively, and cheerfully LOVES talking about sex (not to mention the partaking thereof). 🥳
She has an important message for you below. And after she's done, I'll let you know how to get in touch with her.
It's all yours, Julie!
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When Kevin asked me to fill in for him, he knew what my topic of choice would be. Good friends are like that! They just know. And he certainly wasn't wrong. Let's talk about sex in marriage! It will always be my default "topic of choice."
I've been writing and speaking about sex for long enough to know that in some marriages, it is a savored aspect of the relationship. And in other marriages, it is a source of great strife. And there are plenty of married people who would say their intimacy falls somewhere in between those two descriptions.
I encourage you today to think about your own marriage. If you know you and your spouse have sexual struggles, what will it take to face and begin to overcome those struggles? In my first marriage, sex was a huge struggle for us, and I naively banked on the narrative that we would just sort things out "someday." Wishful thinking is not an action plan. An action plan is an action plan. As messy and heart-wrenching as it may be to untangle the struggles, how can you start to do that?
And if you are in a marriage where sex is a healthy aspect of your relationship, does your spouse know what sex means to you? Seems like a silly question, I know. But I never cease to be amazed by how often a husband and wife miss the mark on truly understanding what sex means to the other person.
For example, a wife may assume sex is just a release for her husband; just a physical thing. But I hear from husbands all the time who open up about how sex for them is so much more about being desired and affirmed by the woman they love. They don't just want sex. They want her. I think it can do couples a world of good to be vulnerable about what sex means to them.
I have often said that when my husband and I make love, it is in those moments I feel most treasured and confident about our connection. Yes, the pleasure is fabulous too, but it's more about the way sex strengthens and enriches our relationship.
So choose this day to honestly reflect on sex your marriage. Where have the two of you been and where do you go from here?
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Another homerun by Julie!
Questions: What does sex mean to you? How about to your spouse?
If you don't know the answers to these questions (or if you only know one of the answers), you're cheating your marriage, spouse, and sex life. Heck, you're cheating yourself!
Risky questions to ask for sure. But, knowing the truth is well worth the risk.
Julie's site, Intimacy In Marriage, runneth over with Christ-centered content about sex in marriage (ladies: your husband may have already been there to have Julie answer a question!).
The site covers an array of topics from positions to toys to frequency, and all in a tasteful way.
Julie also has a book titled Pursuit of Passion: True Intimacy In Your Marriage. I have a copy, and it's worth the read. #ad
Enjoy your Saturday, and I'll talk with you tomorrow!