Hi, ,

I've been thinking a lot lately about the stories we create in our heads, especially in our marriage. I’ve come to realize that a big part of the disconnection I feel with my Cetelia isn’t about what she’s saying—it’s about what’s happening in my own mind. I’ve been filtering her words through my own doubts and fears, assuming she’s not being sincere. It’s like I’m listening to a version of her that only exists in my head.

I recently decided to take a step I hadn’t considered before: I shared this with her. I let her in on what’s been happening inside me, how my assumptions and fears have been shaping how I hear her. It wasn’t easy to do, but it opened up a new kind of conversation. For the first time, we talked not just about the words we were saying, but about the listening behind those words.

If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in a cycle with your mate—constantly questioning their intentions or sincerity—I encourage you to share your insight with them. Let them know what’s going on in your mind. It might feel scary, but I found it created a deeper sense of transparency and connection. And maybe, just maybe, it will help them understand how they can meet you where you are.

Try it out, and let me know how it goes.

More to come soon!

Kevin