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I had an idea this past week, and I hope you like it.

(No pressure though, because I'm not here to tell you how to feel.)

I thought to myself, "Marisa, you sexy beast, wouldn't it be cool if you did a newsletter tarot reading for the upcoming month on the last Saturday of every month?"

And I agreed it would. I figured I could film it, post it as an unlisted video, and link it in my newsletter so y'all folks could watch it. Then, on the first of the month, I'll make it available to all my YouTube subscribers.

Basically, it's a little early treat for you to say thanks. And I'll probably do this with all my video content moving forward.

(I'm thinking of filming an updated office tour to show why I now have 3 desks in my office. Which is the correct amount of desks, if you were wondering.)

You can check out the video by clicking the image below:

(I feel obligated to tell you my camera situation is a bit of a mess at the moment. So sorry this isn't super high definition or 4K or whatever. It kind of looks the way older movies used to look on tube TVs when they'd play on UHF channels every Saturday afternoon. It's all grainy and you can feel the dust motes floating in the sunlight a little? I don't know. It's weird. We'll call it a "vintage aesthetic" and move on.)

As I was filming this video, I thought The Hierophant was the main message. But then I got hit really hard with the Five of Swords while eating some lunch nachos less than an hour after I finished filming this spread.

That lesson resulted in me unfriending 100 people I was connected to on Facebook. Not in like, one of those dramatic ways where people post stuff like "Congrats if you made it through my most recent friend purge."

But in a way where I really had to confront that what I believed about a specific group of people in my life was false, and was probably always false. It's unlikely that these people had changed, and more likely that they have always been this way, but I didn't see it.

Now, not all 100 people are offenders. Most of the group were people who I had one class with in college and hadn't spoken to for almost two decades. But I did only clean those people out after taking a look at some inflammatory rhetoric some folks have been using.

I hate to be super vague. So let me just say this:

If you didn't speak up when former Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos added new regulations to Title IX to give more rights to those accused of sexual assault and make it harder for victims to come forward in public schools and universities, but feel called to speak out against trans athletes playing high school and college sports in the name of equality, I can see right through you.

And that goes double for a former coach of mine.

I guess I kind of always knew who this former coach was. But it sucks to have to actually confront it. That's why the Five of Swords is a bit of an internal confrontation. The battle is in your head, fam.

If you didn't know, I played softball for 10 years. Varsity every year of high school. When the school season ended, the league season began. I traveled 10 months out of the year for tournaments. It defined who I was for a really long time, even though I hated it by the time I was a freshman in high school. Hell, I credit softball with my ability to push through burn out and ignore what I really want in favor of doing what's expected of me.

(This picture was probably me around age 16. Maybe. Honestly? Who knows.)

But playing softball wasn't something that was cool. We were all made fun of for our size, what others perceived our sexual orientation to be, and for the absolutely heinous tan lines. We were bulky before CrossFit made it cool. We didn't fit gender norms before Gen Z and TikTok made it okay. But at least we were a team, together, and we had a coach that supported us.

My coach was the leader of a band of outcasts. We needed that team to give us a place to go. We needed friends. And that's what a team is--people who have to be your friends so you can win games.

So I just don't get why that coach would actively create more outcasts and not afford them the same opportunity for connection. I don't get why that coach wouldn't make more space for people who need a place to play.

But it's also not for me to know that person's intentions. I haven't played softball in 18 years. And even though Facebook is a good tool to keep in touch with some, the Five of Swords reminds us that we have to leave some people behind. We have to move forward to where we know we're supposed to be, and let others go their own way.

Even if it hurts because you used to believe they were something bigger and better than they ever were.

On the Blog

You're Not Responsible for Other People's Happiness

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Finding a Blog Planner Book to Keep Your Blog on Track

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Marisa 

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