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In a shocking turn of events that isn't actually that shocking, I'm going to let y'all know that I'm a bit of a mess.

If you knew me in the before times, the times where I didn't have an internet presence because most of us really didn't--and if we did it was because we had a LiveJournal with a hella emo name--then this admission doesn't shock you.

Gang. Your girl used to be a Grade-A train wreck. We're talking Diet Coke for breakfast, going to work and not even giving my employer a half-ass effort, coming home and drinking until like 11, and then getting some genuinely terrible sleep so I could start it all over again.

I mean, there were some years where I was worse than this, but my mom reads this newsletter. So like, this is where we'll leave it for now.

But I'm bringing all this up for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it occurs to me that everyone seems to think that I'm a paragon of productivity. And I am not. Nor have I always been able to get shit done. Internal motivation is a habit, and you gotta build it over time, and you also gotta kill all the bad habits that keep you from being internally motivated too.

And secondly, I think we need more slow glow ups on the internet. Shit takes a long time. I get that seeing Instagram posts about over night success seem cool. But I also want to make sure that we all understand that isn't the norm, nor does it have to be your goal.

I decided in 2013 that I wanted to quit my day job. Like, I mean, I never wanted a day job to begin with, but 2013 was the year that I was basically like "well, I can't do this shit forever because I will probably burn a hole in my boss's skull with my death glare."

So I decided in 2013, and didn't quit a day job until the end of 2019. It was a slow glow up.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Basically, I think I need to do a better job at showing how shit isn't always linear. In fact, if it ain't graphed on one of the quadrants of a coordinate plane, it's probably a mess.

And my life is about as far from the neat lines of a graph as you can get.

I think I may have more to say on this someday, but who knows when?

My schedule is on the cusp of getting back to normal in that I'm officially in the new house, my office is like 80% set up, and our couch and refrigerator arrive next week.

I won't lie and say that I was super stoked to show you pictures of my office this week...something I promised to do last week. Don't get me wrong--I love my new office. It's PERFECT. And honestly, it's one of the reasons we got this house.

But like I said, it's only 80% set up. And the little perfectionist in me was like, "WE CANNOT SHARE THIS WITH THE WORLD."

But slow glow ups are important, gang. And I'm not enamored with this little perfectionist voice, so I'm telling it to fuck off, and sharing my office so far.

Enjoy!

And if you'd like the worst approximation of an episode of MTV Cribs, you can check out this quick video I filmed of my office.

This is where the magic happens, as they would say on an episode of Cribs. But they'd say that about the bed. And honestly? I'll probably never share my sleeping quarters with the world.

But this is where my desk is. I want you to imagine a whole smattering of wall hangings above the computer soon. It's going to happen.

These are my built-in bookcases. This is all I have ever wanted in my life. The top middle shelf is where I'll keep my planners and journals that I'll be giving away very soon (KEEP A WEATHER EYE OUT, GANG) as well as the paperback of Ex Libris when it's out.

I don't think I've ever had an office with adequate shelf space and storage, and this is amazing. Please know that those cabinets are full of craft and art supplies, old notebooks, and backup keyboards.

That's all for now, gang. I'll keep you posted when I actually hang something, or like, I don't know. Put away all the little piles of stuff.

Thanks for letting me invade your inbox! 

Marisa 

MarisaMohi.com

📚 Ex Libris is out now!