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Just a heads up, here, gang. If thoughts about how long you have left before you shuffle off this mortal coil bug you, it’s totally cool to skip over this part of the newsletter and go check out the books I’ve linked below.

Ye be warned.

(Not as in a bad warning. But like, I know this sort of talk isn’t for everyone.)

The pandemic has been an existential crisis for me. Please don’t think I’ve been super philosophical about it, or that I’ve been reading any sort of existential works.

That would only compound my dread.

See, there was one point back in 2020 that hit me hard. It was my birthday. I turned 35 that year. And as I watched the effects of the pandemic across the globe, I couldn’t stop thinking about death, which naturally led me to thinking about how much time I had left on the planet.

Have you ever sat on your couch with a cup of coffee in your hand and thought, “Hey, my life may very well be half over. Or maybe I have even less time than that…”

It’s not a thought I like to entertain for too long. But it’s there. Like the low hum of a necessary appliance in the other room. It runs so I can live my life the way I need to.



I wish I could say that I then turned my life into the chorus of Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying,” but skydiving and thrill-seeking is not the reason I’m on this planet.

(If you read that and were like, “I didn’t know Marisa liked country music,” the answer is that I generally don’t. I mean, I’ll get down with some alternative country or Americana-style music. But pop country is basically pumped into the speakers of every restaurant and social gathering here in Oklahoma. So, like, you can’t escape it. And even though stylistically that song is not my jam, I can get behind the meaning.)

Anyway, it all really made me think about how I’m using my time.

My friend and one of my editors, Kenna, wrote about time confetti on her blog this week. It made me think about how good I used to be at using little pockets of time when I was fitting stuff in between classes. And now, it’s like I expect nothing but deep work.

Like, if I have 45 minutes in between Zoom meetings, that’s plenty of time to get some stuff done. But I know I won’t be able to really get in that state of flow where I start writing and then four hours later wonder where the day has gone, so I just don’t start writing. Instead, I’ll check email and social media. Make a cup of tea, and maybe put some dishes in the dishwasher.

None of those things are bad, but none of them are intentional. I’m just filling time until the next thing, and that’s no way to live if you think that maybe half your time on this planet may be gone.

It’s like Gandalf said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

One summer, I got to teach The Fellowship of the Ring to a group of high schoolers in an accelerated reading program, and it was THE COOLEST. That quote hit them hard, the way everything from song lyrics to fortune cookies hit you hard at that age. We spent a whole damn class talking about that quote, what it meant to Frodo, and what it meant to the students.

(The best thing about teaching is those class periods where you have those sort of big, deep discussions and you actually get to connect with your students on a deeper level. The worst thing about teaching is that those discussions happen once a year, if you’re lucky. It’s hard to get deep when you’re trying to hit objectives determined by legislators who have never taught or met actual students.)

When I find myself throwing around time like confetti, I just think about what my ol’ pal Gandalf said. It’s a good little reminder. 

And on a somewhat serendipitous note, I ordered a Bilbo Baggins sticker from Etsy this week, and they sent me a free Gandalf too. 

The shop is full of amazing nerdy, nostalgic things, if you need some stickers to decorate your laptop, water bottle, automobile, or any other flat surface in your life.

(Also, yes. That is a 64-ounce water bottle. I got tired of filling up the 32-ounce water bottle 4-5 times a day, so I upgraded to a bottle I would only fill 2-3 times a day. And I definitely look super cool carrying half a gallon of water with me everywhere I go.)

On the Blog

Speaking of getting shit done…I wrote about being a productive writer. I have some big, hairy scary plans this year, and I’ve been hard at work outlining a series and creating a wiki to keep it all straight. So, I wrote about how I make some time to get into the deep work of writing and plotting, and I also shared how you can’t always have that deep work.

Read post: Productive Writing: Time Blocking and Task Batching

Check Out These Reads

The blurb of this horror story collection is giving me Warehouse 13 vibes, but the cover is screaming Cabin in the Woods. I love everything about this:

And if you like urban fantasy stories filled with secret agencies and badasses saving the day, get started with this series by grabbing the first book:

Thanks for letting me invade your inbox! 

Marisa 

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