If we're being honest, the human body is poorly designed.

Think about it. If you sit down too long, your back hurts. If you stand up too long, your back hurts. If you lay down too long, your back hurts.

As a kid, you probably hated really intense flavors. I bet onions and olives weren't food you enjoyed. And now, as an adult, you can really appreciate those flavors and how they enhance a dish. But also, as an adult, there's a non-zero chance those food items give you heartburn.

I'm not saying that we all need to check our warranties and see if we can get some replacement parts, but if you're over the age of 30, it may be worth a try.

I bring all this up because over the past week, I've asked some truly old lady questions on Instagram stories.

First, I asked for recommendations for decaf coffee. Yes, I know that one of the things people know about me is my coffee addiction. But I've started cutting way back on caffeine, and you know what? I have no regrets.

I sleep a lot better now and I don't get super anxious by 10 AM. It's great.

If you're interested, a lot of people swear by Starbucks decaf Sumatra and the decaf coffee at Sprouts Grocery Store. (I know that not everyone has a Sprouts nearby.) If you have another decaf coffee you recommend, please let me know.

I have reached the age where I like black coffee, not for the caffeine, but for the coffee flavor. I know that's weird.

But then, on Thursday, I brought in the old lady big guns.

I asked Instagram for recommendations for slippers with arch support. Not memory foam, but literal arch support. You see, I need the hard sole to keep my foot bones in the proper shape.

I blame my bad feet on a combination of genetics and wearing terrible, cheap softball cleats for 10 years growing up. (There weren't a ton of options for women's cleats until my senior year of high school.)

And now, I have two screws in my left foot and my feet hurt if I go barefoot for too long. It's great.

So far, the recommendations have ranged from Birkenstock clogs (a great option) to Vionic slippers (I've heard mixed reviews on these--people love them or hate them) to people just asking me to share the recommendations I receive.

And you know what? I got a lot of people asking me to share the recommendations I got for decaf coffee too.

I am left to conclude that I'm not the only person with geriatric tastes. I welcome you all to my mature adult club. I pray it looks a lot like an episode of The Golden Girls.

Slightly related, I was served this TikTok this week, and now I want a muumuu.

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Marisa 

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