Stay cool... 😎

Jul 02, 2022 12:01 pm

You're receiving this newsletter because you subscribed either at MarisaMohi.com, or by downloading The Widow of Alabaster Point, free tarot spreads, a content brainstorming workbook, or enrolling in the daily writing habit email course.

Did you spend large portions of your childhood waiting to get cool? At the end of elementary school, I remember being excited for how cool I would be in middle school. But it didn't happen.

My spirit wasn't broken, though. At the end of middle school, I was ready to be a bad ass cool kid in high school.

You probably won't be surprised to find that "getting cool" didn't happen for me in high school either.

Still, I held out hope. I was a weird, smart-ish kid. So everyone kept telling me that I would have a great time in college. I was reassured that once I got into a truly academic environment, it would be my time to shine.

Dear reader, do you think I was cool in college?

I was not.

When you're taking classes like History of American Musical Theater, Medieval Art History, and Arthurian Legends and Lore, you don't really stand a chance, do you?

I think about "getting cool" a lot. Perhaps more than I should admit as an adult. Probably because I still want to be cool.

And not in the pity cool kind of way. You know, where your friends are like, "Oh, Marisa, I think you're cool."

BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T COUNT. I NEED VALIDATION FROM STRANGERS WHO LOOK UPON ME IN AWE.

I go to bed before 10 PM most days and I can't have caffeine after noon or else I won't be able to sleep at all and alcohol gives me heart burn and my body rejects pizza because my tummy is all like, "Girl, we can digest either dairy or gluten, but not both at the same time."

Twitter is my favorite social media platform, the Friends of the Library book sale is my Super Bowl, and I format my grocery lists based on the store I'm shopping at for maximum efficiency.

I almost bought a pair of super cute shoes the other day, but decided against it because of the lack of arch support.

Needless to say, I'm not cool, friendos. And the older I get, the more I lament that it's just not going to happen for me.

What brought on this rambling screed? Well. Temperatures are climbing here in Oklahoma and we're about to have a whole slew of days over 100 degrees. (That's over 38 degrees for my non US friends.) A local meteorologist encouraged viewers to "stay cool" to close out her weather report, and I may have had a mild panic attack because I CAN'T STAY COOL.

I never was, gang.

Anyway, if you're similarly uncool, know that I've saved you a spot at my lunch table. I won't make fun of the lunch your mom packed for you if you promise not to make fun of the weird shit I'm writing in my notebook. And if we leave the cafeteria as soon as the bell rings, I can show you the secret way to get to class so we don't have to walk by the popular girls.

They're terrifying.

If you need me, I'll be googling what kind of jeans the cool kids are wearing these days and cringing because this newsletter has mad Never Been Kissed vibes...

(Let the record show that there is no way in hell I'd ever go back to high school, not even in the context of a rom com.)

To close, please enjoy this tweet.