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We’re almost done with the first month of the year, and I have failed at one of my 2022 intentions.

(Gang, I will never not be able to voyeur a train wreck. And I’ll be damned if the writing world doesn’t consistently have the best drama. Please save me from myself, though. If I ever become the drama, call me out.)

On that note, habits are tough things to build, and it really took me a long time to learn to do it.

I say learn, but really, it’s not the habits I had to learn. It was all the self-compassion. And yeah, that may sound like a very touchy-feely, namby-pamby sort of term. And maybe it is.

But who cares?

It’s useful AF, friendos.

I used to hate how I could never build a solid routine. I hated how I always felt like I was behind. Grad school was a nightmare where I had no idea how to manage my time and organize my priorities. Everything got done, but I procrastinated and stayed up all night to turn in work, and then I felt so much shame about only being able to do work in that super volatile way.

Hindsight is 20/20. Now, I know more about my process. I know what I need to work.

I also know now the way I perceive the work I’m doing is important. I have to set the right conditions. I need down time, and I need alone time. (As a person as far on the introvert spectrum as one can get with an A+ masking game, I need A LOT of alone time.)

I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have as many dopamine receptors in my brain as most folks. And the like 3 receptors I do have? I’m pretty sure they only ever function at 20% capacity.

But I didn’t know that back in grad school. All I knew was that I sucked at doing the one thing I said I wanted to do. And that thought ruled how I perceived myself and my work for years. 

I’m just throwing this all out there this week because I think we can all use the reminder. This week alone, I’ve gotten no less than 18 social media ads about weight loss products that will help me achieve my New Year weight loss goals they know I’ve already failed at.

(If you’re a marketer and you’re writing that sort of copy, please get fucked. People feel enough shame all the damn time without you piling on.)

So, if you’ve ever been at war with yourself, you’re not alone. If you’ve ever struggled to figure out why you can’t do things you want to do, or why you can’t look like the perfect people on Instagram when you do it, I’ve been there.

One book that really shifted how I viewed myself was Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff. I recommend it to everyone, especially if you’re mad at yourself for not being able to do stuff. Learning to treat myself like a person instead of a failure has been life changing.

And if you want some support on that journey, you should hit up my friend, Sheri. She’s got a ton of offerings to help you start living the way you want to, and to feel good while doing it.

And just to wrap this up, know that you’re not a failure, and taking care of yourself is not intuitive. In fact, there are so many entities and systems that profit off your unhappiness, so it’s likely that you’ve been taught all the worst things your whole life so you can stay in some company’s target market.

Habits are hard, gang. But you can do it. And you’re not a failure for falling off the wagon or for needing some time to reset. Be gentle on you. These past two years have sucked eggs on ice 8 ways ‘til Sunday. 

You’re doing pretty damn good.

On the Blog

Please don’t tell the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney, but I don’t much care for a lot of his company’s films. I’m not saying they’re bad, but they aren’t for me. But I do like a good fairytale retelling. And that’s why I’ve got on the blog for you this week.

Read: 8 Fairytale Retellings for People Who Don’t Care Much for Disney

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Thanks for letting me invade your inbox! 

Marisa 

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