How to Stop Outsourcing Your Aliveness to the Next Goal

In this episode, you'll learn how to stop delaying your joy until after you make it. Welcome to Energy Alignment for Entrepreneurs, the podcast helping entrepreneurs be free from anxiety, stress, and tension through balancing emotions and consciousness expansion.

Three things you'll discover today: how to reclaim joy in the middle, not the end; why chasing aliveness creates burnout; and what to do when you only feel alive after winning.

When You Only Feel Alive After Winning

When you only feel alive after winning, this is hinting at an attachment to stimulus, to status, to identity. And there's nothing wrong with winning. You're supposed to win and you will be successful, and you can have wealth in a manner which is aligned so that you use the resources, which are your wealth, for humanity's expansion.

You see, that's the secret. If you look for wealth in a greedy manner, you may find it and it'll drain you. But when we're looking at the relationship between winning and what you feel and that sort of excitement, which we label to feel alive, it's important—extremely important—for us to get real simple in relationship to the root of our why.

What is it that actually drives us? Why? Why are we doing what we do?

Because when we ask, when we seek to understand why, then you get hit with a different essence, which is sort of like you realize the why isn't everything. The how isn't everything and the what isn't everything, but the holistic combination, the awareness of all that is everything, meaning that there's nothing wrong with winning, but if you're only winning because you are ambitious and your goals are self-centered, then of course the winning is going to be a short stint of dopamine, fueling your ego, but not your soul.

Now, if you actually recalibrate, then you're going to find yourself working in alignment with pathways that are holistic so that you can feel alive whilst you're doing the work. You can feel alive when you may not be winning. And then when you actually win, you realize that everything you're doing—you always knew that was what you're meant to be doing. See, that's kind of the big crux of, if I were to summarize what it is to be aligned, it's like you never even knew, but somehow it's true.

You found yourself being in a certain way, acting in a certain way, following your heart, so that your life is not a copy. Your life is solely unique to what God has destined you to be and to create.

When you feel alive, it's important to notice the things which got you there. And it's not that you shouldn't celebrate—of course, celebrate. But what matters here is that you have a life where you always feel like you're winning. So that means that you're gonna have hard moments where, let's say you are working 60 hours a week, and when you work 60 hours a week, you literally don't have time for the gym or any sports or any nature.

Sometimes the winning of making all the money from the 60 hours has to be changed, meaning that you have a new perception to what winning really is, whereas a shallow perception of winning may be that you get 5 million views on a short that's basically brain rot, right? Then a different level of winning would be that you ran an advertisement that got you clients for a purpose-driven endeavor. Then a different level of winning could be that you had a hard conversation with a loved one, and then another level of winning could be that you watched your dog let go of one of his fears, right? So there's all these different forms of what the word winning may be.

I know that what we need to do as humans is to observe our patterns. And if you have a pattern of only feeling alive after one certain thing gets fulfilled in your life, like you're obsessed with just one category—I'm not here to judge you. I'm not here to say that's right or wrong, but I'm here to invite you to look. Invite you to question to see, is there a lack of balance in your life?

And understand that nature's brutality is also balance. For me, especially if I were watching this in person, it would be terribly tough to see a polar bear rip apart some form of prey, whether it be a seal or a penguin or whatever it may be. But ultimately that ruthlessness of the polar bear is balance. So I just want you to encapsulate that point with that ending right there, because a lot of people think, oh yeah, just be balanced, right? Don't be successful. Don't create wealth. Don't be ruthless in your life. No. Some forms you're gonna have to go to extremes.

But the thing is that when you go to extremes, you recalibrate because you understand those extremes better. And when you understand that in yourself, you can understand it in the world and you can be that beacon of synchronicity if you will.

Why Chasing Aliveness Creates Burnout

It's almost like—let's say you're a young man and you're obsessed with finding a beautiful girl. The thing is that what attracts a beautiful girl is not you being obsessed with finding a beautiful girl. What makes you the man that the beautiful girl actually desires and truly enjoys being around is almost all the other things, meaning that you don't seek a beautiful girl.

You get a beautiful girl by being open to her coming into your life and realizing that there are underlying factors which create harmony in a human being. So for you to attract, for you to create that—first of all, to be the man who can keep the beautiful girl, but then also to put out the signs to the world that you are ready for the beautiful girl—that means that you almost have to forget about the beautiful girl. You have to be a man so aligned, so in flow, so caring about himself and others to maintain that relationship once it's created, but to also create the energy which attracts her so.

It's interesting. It's like you could go to the gym with the motivation to get into better shape to attract a partner, but you'll notice as you go through your journey, that form of inspiration is weak. It is a tit for tat. It is a reward slash consequence. It is an input slash output. It is a logical form of thought.

Now, real embodiment is sort of, oh yeah, I'm not gonna chase aliveness. I'm going to understand what subtracts me from being alive. Right? What makes it so that I'm not the person who can maintain the relationship with the lady nor attract the lady.

And when you ask those questions, then you'll see what you need to let go of, what you need to change. And through that, then you'll know what you need to be. It's not about like looking at these famous models—and I'm not saying you can't learn from others, but you're not meant to copy people. So when you look at actors, when you look at Tom Brady, when you look at people whom inspire you, it's okay to admire them, but it's not right to copy them because you are meant to find your own style in life, your own gist, your own talents.

And the only way you can do that is by understanding what is creating the burnout. So you don't wanna chase being successful. What you wanna do is take structures that are universal, whereas there are universal laws of consciousness. They are written in some of the holy books, so embody that, make it granular. Don't seek to have very simple answers, put yourself in a state of openness. Let the insights that are beyond logic come to you. Learn to read between the lines of your own emotions, energy, and thinking, because when you observe yourself, you realize that wanting is an energy of not having.

So somehow, some way you have to create from where you are now, and that means that you intelligently craft your states so that you can. Because when you craft your states intelligently, then you'll see when you're in an energy which is burning you out, and I think that's what this all comes down to, is understanding, oh yeah, if I want, I don't have, so that's a scarcity. So how do I work with what I've got now and create from where I am here while keeping the big vision in your mind.

Because naturally if you have a vision, if you have intuition, if you have gut feelings about your destiny, then that may be true, but you don't create your destiny by thinking, you create it by acting. So you have to be the director of your own train, and then you also have to have the competence to say, what, you know what? I'm actually gonna walk my own path. I'm done, you know, being the conductor of a train and creating followers, I'm actually gonna go and walk my own path. Right.

How to Reclaim Joy in the Middle, Not the End

So this is the courage of noticing where you're at now. It may be tough, but you don't get less tough, or how do I put it? You don't create a smoother life by wishing for it to be less tough. You do so by accepting that things are hard and letting go of the resistance that things are hard. So really realizing that, oh yeah, this is strengthening me. God gave me weight. God gave me burden. God gave me curse to strengthen me.

As I am strengthened, I see how to actually manipulate or use alchemy to change the curse, to let the weight be something which is joy-creating, joy-invoking, where you are like, oh man, I am blessed enough to carry this weight. It's not a false woo woo. It's a genuine transformation of the way that you are that—core cells in your being, you absolutely reinvigorate them by renewing your perception toward what your weakness used to resist.

The only way you can understand how to actually do this is by being present with your weakness, so it's not always the easiest thing, but isn't that the beauty, right? Isn't that the meaning? Because if everyone's not gonna do it, well, why not you? Why can't you do it? You know, do you have the strength?

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