Dear ,

Last week I shared thoughts on workplace respect and how toxic dynamics can trigger past trauma. The response was overwhelming—many of you reached out with your own stories and one powerful question:

"This makes sense in theory, but what do I actually say in the moment?"

I understand. When your heart is racing and old wounds are activated, finding the right words can feel nearly impossible. That’s why I want to give you some simple scripts—practical language you can lean on when boundaries are crossed.

1. When someone interrupts or speaks over you

Instead of: staying silent or apologizing

Try: “I’d like to finish my thought, please.”

(Pause, make eye contact, then continue where you left off.)

If it continues: “I notice I’m being interrupted. Can we establish a speaking order so everyone gets heard?”

2. When meetings start late or change last-minute

Instead of: accepting it without comment

Try: “I want to make sure we’re respecting everyone’s time. Should we reschedule when we can give this the attention it deserves?”

For recurring issues: “I’ve blocked this time specifically for our meeting. Moving forward, I’ll need advance notice for changes so I can adjust my schedule accordingly.”

3. When communication feels aggressive or intimidating

Instead of: shrinking back or getting defensive

Try: “I’m noticing the tone feels tense. Can we take a step back and refocus on the goals we’re trying to achieve?”

If it escalates: “I want to have a productive conversation, but I need us to speak respectfully to each other. Should we continue this later?”

The Key Principles Behind These Scripts:

✔️ Stay calm and factual (avoid loaded or emotional language)

✔️ Focus on behavior, not character (“you’re interrupting” vs. “you’re rude”)

✔️ Offer solutions when possible (reschedule, take a break, establish process)

✔️ Use “I” statements to hold your power without escalating conflict

And remember: it’s normal if your nervous system still reacts. The goal isn’t to erase discomfort—it’s to respond from your values, not your triggers.

One tip: practice these phrases out loud when you’re calm. The more familiar they feel, the easier it will be to reach for them in the moment.

So tell me—what’s one situation where you wish you’d had these words ready?

Warmly,

Dr Sandra Hamilton

Cultivating Quiet Confidence and Power

P.S. Next week I’ll share strategies for building support networks at work—because no one should have to navigate these challenges alone.