The day I realized my job might kill me.
May 23, 2025 1:18 pm
I didn't leave in a blaze of glory.
No TEDx talk.
No viral post.
I left quietly.
With my head held just high enough to keep breathing — even though I had no idea if or how I was going to make it.
Let me take you back.
I was having severe headaches. I chalked it up to stress, deadlines, and pretending everything was okay. You know how we do.
But when I finally dragged myself to the doctor, they kept checking and rechecking my blood pressure.
182/120.
I was admitted immediately.
I remember the doctor’s eyes. Calm, but concerned.
And then he asked, “Tell me what’s happening in your life.”
And that was the moment.
Not the machines. Not the nurses buzzing around me.
But that question.
Because I couldn’t answer it. Not without unravelling.
How do you explain working in a place where excellence is punished?
Where people smile to your face and cut you off at the knees in private meetings?
Where leadership is a game of thrones — where shouting, slandering, and gaslighting is strategy, not anomaly?
I had gone to war every day with a smile on my face and silence in my throat.
And now my body was sounding the alarm I had been ignoring.
I tried to fix it the “right way”:
- Spoke to the board chair
- Asked church leaders for support
- Gathered faculty and colleagues
- Petitioned external stakeholders
But the system was rigged to protect itself.
And so, I left.
Not because I had a plan.
But because I finally asked:
Is this job worth my life?
And I knew the answer.
What came next wasn’t instant freedom. It was the slow, terrifying rebirth of a voice I had buried under duty, appearances, and fear.
I had to learn:
- To stop asking for permission to exist
- To build strength without hardness
- To define success on my own terms
Now, I travel the world.
I choose my projects.
I no longer shape-shift to please people who are committed to misunderstanding me.
I move with a quiet confidence that doesn’t need applause.
And here's the truth I had to live my way into:
You don’t have to earn peace.
You only have to stop sacrificing yourself to avoid disruption.
I created the Soul Story Retreat for people like us.
The ones who:
- Stay too long in toxic places because we’re loyal, capable, or afraid of what comes next
- Have been betrayed, silenced, or made to feel like “too much” and “not enough” at the same time
- Want to reclaim our voice without turning into someone we’re not
Soul Story Weekend is not about fixing you.
It’s about returning to the self you were before the world told you to shrink.
So if something in you whispered “this is for me” while reading this…
Trust it.
You’ve already survived the hardest parts.
Now it’s time to rewrite the story.
With clarity. With choice. With your voice.
If this story resonates, hit reply and tell me what's happening in your life. Let's make sure Soul Story Weekend feels right for you.
With quiet power,
Dr Sandra Rose Hamilton
Soul Story Retreat Creator & Guide
www.drhtheconfidencebuilder.com