Dear humans,

The female has a to-do list twenty miles long, possibly several miles wide. On Monday, she's launching an attempt to hit USA Today with Whatever for Hire. In 2018, she did an attempt, showed up on the preliminary list, but got bumped off when a vendor reported under the wire.

To say she was disappointed was a severe understatement.

She got up, dusted off, and tried again (with better success) last year with the Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Starter Pack.

Since Whatever for Hire is referenced somewhat commonly in Grave Humor, she's going to try again and see if the attempt helps with Grave Humor, too. (It would be pretty amazing to list twice in a row, right? Right!)

One of the female's bucket list items is to hit a list with a full-priced new release. That's kind of when you've made it, yanno?

She wants to make it. Somewhat severely. Hah!

So, this weekend, the female is going to be very busy with setting up for her attempt. She's going to be super busy setting up for it today, too. Monday, she just has to monitor everything, so it'll be mostly back to regular business, but if she's overwhelmed this weekend, she might not give us the keyboard long enough to send an email.

Please don't worry. We're just working hard!

For those who like paperback books, Grave Humor is now available for preorder at Barnes & Noble. As an actual preorder. As the female finds this really amusing, she has chucked a copy of her own book into the cart. I know some of you are hearing rumors about financial problems at Barnes & Noble, but please don't worry about any print sales from Barnes & Noble.

The female's distributor keeps the female's cut of the book and pays her directly, so she is at zero risk of not being paid for the sale. The female is also absolutely not abandoning Barnes & Noble's ship because of COVID. She believes readers should have choices, and if Barnes & Noble falls because of COVID, readers get fewer choices, and that is a bad thing.

May 12 is the big day for Grave Humor. May 4 is the big day for Whatever for Hire. (If you get emails from Bookbub, please keep an eye out for an email on May 5, which is when the feature is scheduled to run! Hooray!!)

May 16 is the female's birthday, and as such, she probably won't be giving us the keyboard to work. She will be spending time with the Beard instead. Though if she does give us keyboard time to work, it will be a very brief email. So, if you don't see an email on that day, that's why. (Please don't worry.)

Enjoy this picture of me sleeping. I love naps very much. Have a great day, humans!

(It is Friday, May 1, 2020. We have escaped April! Hooray!)