Dear humans,

The female has received a thermometer in the mail today. (She started the search for one in early March.) Apparently, this is a major source of excitement, except it is reporting she may have a low-grade fever. She usually runs cool, and she's a little over a normal human's temperature. For her, that's a little feverish but tolerable.

She's probably okay. She will blame stress and an annoying male creature sharing the same space with her.

It's probably allergies. (And yes, in the female... allergies can raise her temperature. It's very annoying.)

So, we're listing this as "Today's episode of Plague or Allergies" with a vote towards allergies.

Please enjoy this picture of my sister trying to eat the handwritten copy of The Captive King.

I have stolen this snippet from Grave Humor for your enjoyment.

A big, black dog with baleful eyes sat on my front steps and guarded my lawn.

Huh. Sane people would worry over having a mean-looking dog on their front step. Me? I drew the curtains, made sure no sunlight could get through, and went to my front door to introduce myself to the puppy capable of ripping my face off if he decided he didn’t like me.

Well, I supposed he could be a she, but until I identified the dogs gender, he was a he, and that was that.

I cracked open the door, and the dog flicked one of its half-flopped ears in my direction. Old scars marred the animal’s nose, and I pegged him as a stray. “Hey, baby.”

The baby woofed at me, and he lifted a paw as though to shake with me.

Okay. I could work with that. If I contracted rabies, I’d go see someone at the CDC and get treatments. I stepped outside, crouched, and put my hand out for the puppy to shake with me. He placed his paw on my palm, and I shook with him. “Good baby. What are you doing out here? The neighbors don’t like strays, so you’re just going to have to come inside and become my pet.”

The dog flicked an ear back, but as he otherwise didn’t show any signs of aggression, I released his paw and held my hand closer to his nose so he could sniff. He did, and when that went well, I scratched behind his ears and praised him for being a good boy.

Then I opened the door to see if I could lure my new pet inside.

My new pet did not seem inclined to enter my house.

“It’s nicer in the house, and I’ll give you a nice bath, clean your fur, and transform you into a prince.”

“What are you doing, Anwen?” Gordon asked.

“There’s a puppy on the steps. I’m trying to adopt him. He looks like an older dog, and he could use a few good meals. The assholes down the street shoot strays.”

“How uncouth.”

“You stole that from Eoghan, didn’t you?”

We hope you enjoyed this unedited snippet.

The female is now going to make coffee she shouldn't be drinking and feel sorry for herself, as she wishes the plants would cease their public reproductive activities. Also, if the dust could stop invading our home, that would also be nice.

Tomorrow, we will try to be a little more amusing. But even if we aren't, there will be at least one cat picture in your future. That's something, right?