Dear Clients and Friends,

Do you ever feel like you're running around in circles in business?

Instead of being in a perpetual state of confusion, I've found that when we have a complimentary call with potential clients, they actually know what to do but are just-not-doing-it.

Perhaps you say, it's a fear of failure?

Not so straightforward.

Like with most self-sabotaging behaviour, it is closely linked with their childhood needs not being met. Having worked with third-culture kids running businesses, what is distinct is that our family of origin had met and often exceeded physical needs, but emotional needs were conditionally met.

Affection and attention were withheld when the child did not perform with good grades or brought 'shame to the family name' (which was a moving target).

Children are 100% loyal to their family of origin because their needs were unmet in the manner, frequency and timing that was needed, instead of asking why the adults were unable to provide, the child made it about them.

This became internalised by the child that they were loved and accepted conditionally. ie. Something was wrong with them.

There's nothing wrong with you.

I've found it commonly shows up with business owners as:

1. Not showing up regularly on social media
2. Hiring virtual assistants and not making the most use of them
3. Discounting prices or delaying sending invoices
4. Routinely getting sick for no reason or burning out

So, next time you self-sabotage, pause and instead of asking; 'What's wrong with me?' ask 'What happened to me, and how can I move forward?'

To your lightness,

Janet