Hiya

I’m back under the Southern California sky, parrots talkin’ out in the distance, and hummingbirds buzzing their feeders. Last week was beautiful, and hard.

The Sunday Note 26.3 "On A Plan (not THE plan)"

Fear showed up this week. Pride too. Alongside both hope and dread.

Being with my mom brings those feelings together. There are moments when her mind kicks in clearly. Brief flashes of recognition, humor, and connection. The expressive aphasia makes it harder to reach those moments. At her core, she has always been a wordsmith. A poet. Someone who loved long talks and long walks. Looking back at her Instagram – yeah, she was on Instagram! – shows another version of her.

I had two overnight stays with my Mama. An attempt to allow Felice to rest. My hope is that she got to sleep early and stayed in bed till late. Her home, for now, is settling into a different rhythm than it once did. 

On either side of the caregiving nights, I got to visit with my Dad and Gail… peace and consistency that does my heart and mind so much good.

Momentum is happening on my mom’s medical front. My sister is amazing; she’s tracking ALL the lines of effort … therapies, expenses, caregiving, and more. She is moving toward securing a place in the system.

One of my duties is the financial side. Fundraising... It is hard to ask, but we are thankful our communities are supporting us afford rent, food, caregivers, and the myriad of other expenses we didn’t have seven months ago.

We have a little margin where there had been none.

At the end of my Marin visit, I watched the movie Song Sung Blue with my Dad and Gail. While the content is different from what I’m experiencing, I watched two people make “the” plan. For two hours and twelve minutes, I watched that plan get beaten up over and over again. 

Intention meeting reality. Life intervening.

The title for today’s The Sunday Note surfaced later that evening:

“On A Plan (not THE plan).”

Friday was incredible… I dedicated the day to my coachees (19 total right now) and spoke with 5 of them, each for 45 minutes. A familiar pattern emerged in three words…. “Be. Do. Have.” 

Not as a conclusion. More as a shape conversations keep circling.

I’m continuing my daily reflection. The daily prompts I have built (“A Plan”) act like an anchor, a steady place to start from.

However (actually, most of the time), I often stray from the prompt and write what needs to be written. From my heart and my soul, exploring the pain and the hope.

I’m training (as you see on Strava!) and it’s going well. About every 24 hours I scroll through my morning report on my Garmin and I see that day’s suggested workout. “A Plan”… not THE plan. No one else sees it, and there’s no immediate consequence attached. 

Just a quiet question: “Yo… you gonna work out today?” The answer is more often than not, “Yup.”

Today’s 32 miles on the bike were followed by a run. 

Short story: Last night I dropped my phone (or, as I prefer to say in Spanish, “Se me cayó el teléfono”), and the screen cracked. I made an appointment to get it fixed, and today Jodi dropped me off at the store and I ran the 4 miles home. 

Along the way, my Garmin yelled at me, “Too fast.” It was a reminder, but I took it as an invitation to stick to “A Plan.”

The body feels steadier than it did a year ago. I continue the physical therapy exercises prescribed by the Guardian Resilience Team (GRT) and the results are noticeable. Less pain. More range.

A reminder that sticking to a plan can be quiet and effective.

Emotionally, the work is happening out loud. Therapy support comes steadily ‘cause I’m a civilian AND I have insurance that covers therapy. 

Also, my friends who mean it when they say, “Call me anytime.” The invitation has widened. Venting. Cussing. Crying. Laughing. I always let them know ahead of time what kind of call it is going to start as… and, they meet me there.

I was cared for this week. I was present with my mom. I had time with my dad and Gail. Jodi and I have had a heckuva Sunday. I have steady and consistent love from family, friends, and coworkers. I’m doing what I know how to do to take care of myself. In remembering, again, that self-care is not self-ish.

Uncertainty remains. Work conditions shift and will continue to do so. Financial unknowns carry more weight. They linger without resolution.

And still, there is a place to stand.

I am called to be me. 

Fully. 

All in. 

Next week, I’ll serve and support Airmen in Wyoming. Bringing what I know about how the mind and the heart work together to support readiness and response.

If I haven’t said it lately, I am the luckiest Civilian in the DoW. 

Eternal gratitude for my boss, whose leadership allows me to continue serving at the Department level.

This is where I am. Present. Engaged. Practicing how to make a plan, adjust a plan, and return to one again when needed.

Click reply…let me know how you are,

Much love,

JW

PS:

• Not kidding about the Parrots of San Marino!
• This "aphasia" thing has me doing my research
• My Mama's Instagram!
• I don't know how many people saw the coaching offer last October
• Song Sung Blue with Jackman and Hudson was awesome... the story is over here, "Song Sung Blue the Documentary."
• Here is a calendar with prompts you can use to reflect... regularly
• Over on Strava...if you are
• We've got a "Book and a Beverage" planned for next week...it's good times as you can see here!