TL;DR: I got to slow down and stay present this week. Some plans fell apart, others "over-achieved." I noticed doubt, fear, and care all showing up at once. I chose to sit down instead of pushing through, to keep caring even when it costs something, and to focus on the quiet work that builds strength for later. I’m distracted, concerned, and in some ways scared. I’m also here, supported, and still leaning toward what matters.

TSN 26.5: "On the Work After the Work"

Hiya

(I end w/ a link to a podcast I was on a few months ago...take a look!)

Today's the first Sunday of February. My fifth note of the year.

This week did not move in a straight line.

The trip to Montgomery that I had been preparing for over five months was cancelled at the last minute. I still traveled to Colorado Springs to spend a little time with thirteen senior leaders in the Space Force. 

While I was facilitating that course, I pulled a chair to the table and sat down so we were all at eye level. I slowed myself on purpose… a lesson I learned from Mama who said as I was growing up,

“When you sit down, you slow down.”

I now know it wasn’t JUST my body she was teaching to slow… it was my mind.

My mind always moves faster…

It was a full week: I coached four leaders. I finished three books, reviewed a couple of podcasts, and filled a dozen pages in my journal.

I rode 75 miles; I ran 5 miles. I noticed how my body felt and noticed that being healthy is not something to take for granted.

There was a moment in Colorado Springs that stayed with me. I was talking about why I do this work. Not the reasons from the past, but the direction this work I do points toward. 

Not the “Because of…” Instead, the “So that…”

I felt doubt for just a moment; it didn't stay long.

Doubt that what I was offering would land as an invitation, not just information. I took a deep breath. My face softened; in that moment, presence mattered more than getting through the time together.

I am aware of how much effort it takes to lower our shields in appropriate ways. I'm also aware of the very human/tribal need we all have to build connection, liking, and trust ... aiming to build real relationships.

We want connection and yet it is easy to fear the actual work of connecting. I've often said that the biggest decision I have to make each morning is "should I wake up and continue caring as much as I do?"

Why? The more I care, the more I hope, the more I intend for things to be better... the more I open myself up to get hurt...to being DIS-appointed.

When I journal about it, I often recognize how much self-awareness (and confidence) it can take to acknowledge a gap I feel. And yet, I continue. I show up for myself, with my mentors and friends, so that we all can continue leaning forward. "Front-foot leadership" my friend JL calls it.

This week also included quieter choices. I completed Dry January and intend to maintain a more conscious relationship with alcohol. That feels like a promise kept.

I am paying closer attention to how much news I take in, workin' hard to increase signal and filter noise. I am reading more research. A few books are open at once. They are moving slowly and that feels right.

On a bike ride this morning, I rode alongside athletes of many ages. For a few miles, I talked with my friend Sam, who will turn seventy-three this year.

We talked about retirement. Retiring TO something rather than FROM something.

That idea is one that’s been with me for a while now.

Today marks seven months since my mom’s brain hemorrhage. 

As I reflect on her, I notice how often she moved toward something new when change came. That feels like a quiet model. I am still learning from it. This week I'll get a few days with her... just us together for some of that time. It's hard to acknowledge how tender and wonderful this time is, though the reason is a bummer (monthly updates here) and the responsibility is WAY above my pay grade.

Care showed up this week in small ways. People checking in. Asking how I am doing. A friend called before my ride just to say hello. Another called while I was out riding. Both asked if there was anything they could do; so, I sent the list.

The list of ways people can help my family. From the easy things to the harder ones. Letting people choose their lane felt like care too.

What feels most honest to say is this:

I am distracted. I am concerned. In some respects, I am scared. 

I am also present. I am caring. I am still looking across the landscape and wondering.

Where I am standing as I write this feels steady enough.

I am healthy. My family has purpose. We are making a housing plan for my mom and sister as their lease ends later this year. We are managing the caregiving fund and doing our best to support my mom.

This week reminded me that there is work after the work. 

The kind that does not announce itself. 

The kind that asks for strength later, not just now. The kind that begins with sitting down, breathing, and staying.

That is where I am today.

Where are you?

Much love from Pasadena,

JW

PS: Jodi sent me this photo from a shot she was in and I have already started workin' on a version of this I want to bring to my workshops and group coaching sessions. If anyone wants to work on it with me... lemmie know!

PSS: I got to share time on the SpacePower podcast a while back… click the titles below to go right to the section of the video!

Here’s the summary:

Mission readiness in the Space Force depends on leaders who think clearly, connect deliberately, reflect consistently, and learn continuously. Connection is operational. Reflection is strategic. Leadership is sense making. 

00:00: Quick intro... 

04:14: Mission Ready Leadership = Mastery of Craft + Effective Management + Understanding What Drives People 

12:28 Proximity ≠ Connection:

Leaders Must Be Deliberate About Connecting 

13:05: Guardians Are ‘Starving’ to Feel Connected:

Self - Mission - One Another - Context (and more) 

25:50: The Great Return:

3 Minutes - 3 Days - 3 Weeks - 3 Months - 3 Deliberate Connection Points 

29:00: Reflective Practice:

1) What Happened? 2) What Resulted? 3) What Do We Change Next Time? 

38:37: N2C2: Nature - Nurture - Choice - Chance:

A Framework for ‘Who You Are Is How You Lead 

48:28: Connective SenseMaking:

Notice - Engage - Return