TL;DR: Decisions land in the gut before they land on paper. A pivot, a book in progress, and a mentor's nudge toward the long game; all of it running alongside the quiet work of watching my Mama recover, learning the difference between what I want for her and what she needs from us, and sitting with uncertainty long enough to let energy return.

TSN 26.8: "On What Doesn't Surface"

Hiya

I'm writing this Sunday Note at 39,000 feet, in between Burbank and Denver.

Another TDY. Another gathering alongside my leaders, my peers, and people I haven't met yet. We all enter the arena to sharpen our situational awareness of the operating environments.

Yup. Plural.

Environments.

My focus remains in the human domain. The psychosocial realities of what goes weird when smart people (from very different domains) work together.

Last Monday, I drove 400 miles on California highways... I spent some time listening to a book I had recommended to one of my mentees. That's my thing; if I suggest it to you, I go back and read/listen too. Seems only fair.

In a room I was in last week, nearly twenty leaders worked through the priorities, mindset, and approaches to work (and working together) that have carried them this far. My shoulders were relaxed. I was listening more than speaking. I leaned in, squinting with my ears.

My job: attend not only to what was said, but to what didn't surface. It genuinely interests me to see how often people use subjective measures to address objective issues.

Over and over again, I heard people focus on what they share by starting with:

“I think…”

“I believe…”

“We used to…”

“I remember when…”

I read a lot last week. One line would not let go: "Nothing worthwhile was achieved without reflection and rumination."

Yeah. From a Jack Reacher novel. Motion is easy. Reflection requires stillness.

Since I spent nearly four years researching reflective practice for my dissertation, I am a huge fan of thinking about thinking. When Lee Child dropped that line, I knew it'd come back. (I may write about that second word — rumination — in a future note.)

My goal is to take the way people are approaching their work through the lens (and lenses) of the past and combine it with empirically-based, first-principled, evidence-forward frameworks that will support the kind of thinking we'll need to get to a future that looks better than the present.

From another book: "We had out-of-date people doing out-of-date things." That one fired me up enough to write a LinkedIn post about it!

And, a line from my journal: "Don't confuse action for value."

This has been on my mind as my mom continues her stroke recovery.

"Don't confuse what I WANT for her as ADVOCATING for her."

There are layers upon layers upon layers that our entire family is managing...hopes for...worries about.

The temptation to move faster is real. The shortcut of looking through my own perspective is real. The gap between what is happening and what feels possible - also real.

Friends continue to check in on me. A lot.

My favorite is when they use my own saying on me:

"JW, if ya wanna talk, cuss, or cry… I'm your guy."

A few nights, my sister held up the phone so I could see my Mama. She's quiet, but she tracks the conversation as I share the mundane stuff. What I cooked for dinner. Where I drove today. Who I met with recently. What I'm reading AND what I think about it.

And my favorite: what pictures I took.

Uncertainty remains. Whether Mama will recover. Whether resources will stretch far enough. Whether the work will land the way I hope. Whether it matters.

A line surfaced while I was reading another book: "…when you stop trying to control what is not yours to control, energy returns."

That one feels relevant.

I'm sending this from the Mile High City. The ground feels solid as my perspective widens, not narrows.

The road continues. But there is no rush tonight.

I remain here - a sentinel. Looking out at what I can see, waiting for you to show me how to see more.

Much love… 

JW

PS: My mom LOVES reading letters.

Not condolence or pity notes, but inspiring, motivating, "you-can-do-it," and faith-based notes. If you wanna send one, I'll get you the address!