Hi! ,

It has been a minute. According to my calendar, I wrote the last Sunday Note from MGM back in early January.

While I was pretty consistent for 'bout 150 weeks, taking the past four months off has given me time to reflect on #connecting The Note to meaningful dialogue.

I promised Jodi that I wouldn't try and "teach" via this email more than three years ago. I now want a platform that I can use to share what I'm thinking (as I'm thinking it) and how I got there; and, what it means to me. 

Favor: Hit reply when I write something you relate to - or something that triggers you. You could also join the ShareCast I've got going over on Marco Polo. Send me a message, and I'll add you to that group. 

//

The Note, 5 June

Awkward Eye Contact (AEC)

For those of us who are sighted, we are visual beings. 

Lately, I've noticed that the lasik surgery I got in 2008 has hit its limit. At night, while I'm driving, I wear glasses. I can imagine that in the next year or so, I'll be wearing glasses on stage. This is important to me; seeing is important. Over the past decade, I've made a point to remind everyone I work with that we need to make eye contact, more.

Now that I'm noticing that I'm not seeing as clearly as 30-100 feet out from me, I'm more aware of making sure I notice, more.

That's what I'm saying when I use the term "awkward eye contact." Now, on the rookie-level, people think I mean, "look at people, uncomfortably." I mean, for some of you, you might need to practice that. Next time you are talking with someone, check to see how much you look in their eyes. Of course, depending on the culture you're living, loving, and working in.

While I make a point today to look people in the eye while I work with them, I remember when I lived in Mexico City, attending university there in the early 1990's. One day, after class, a fellow student caught me in the hallway and said something to the effect of: "Cuando hables con el maestro, mire p' abajo un poco." Essentially, I didn't know that the culture I had entered expected undergraduate students to respect elder academics by NOT looking them in their eyes.

Eye contact with another human is important. I'm just a beginning researcher into the biology of it, but one of the things that I've learned as that we make eye contact with others to assess threat.

Next time you are walking and get to a corner, watch what happens. When you enter a room, feel what happens when you look around and people see you. There's a glance toward one another's eyes, and then a look away. What was that?

So, what does AEC mean to me today?

Just sub out the word "notice," and you're good to go. In this way, you can acknowledge that seeing something (or someone!) is a crucial thing to do. Here's my challenge to you: "Look around right now. Where you are. As you're sitting or standing and reading this, look around and see something you didn't see before."

Think about it, you go through a day - whether a weekend, a work day, a vacation day, a travel day - and there are dozens/hundreds/thousands of things you DON'T notice. So, when you DO actually see something, I invite you to pause for an extra moment or two. And, maybe breathe into it. Close and open your eyes a few times. Take out a piece of paper, and make a list of what you notice. Look for - really, challenge yourself to find - what you're missing. Whether it's a thing, an event, a person, a situation, I will *almost* guarantee that if you do this, you'll be glad.

My ask: If you see something that you're glad you say, lemmie know!

AEC is less about a starting contest, we're all beyond that. Instead, it is a methodology or a philosophy of challenging ourselves to walk into that next thing as ready as possible to be more present than ever.

I'm here to say that there is something out there that I could see that I may have missed. 

You?

Best,

Dr. JW