#339 – Why won't you let the effing go?

Why does feedback get stuck in my psyche like spinach between my teeth?

When earlier today I got an email from a reader sharing their thoughts about yesterday's piece, I first tried to be "zen." I got into a mental lotus position and visualized the inner smile of my radical acceptance.

As the hours went by and their words kept swirling in my head, I found myself rehearsing what I could respond.

Then I noticed: something else was in my mind.

The Ghost of Need to Prove was shaking me by the shoulders, you have to explain what you meant! Don't leave them feeling like you hadn't considered their perspective. Prove you're...

What? What exactly does the Ghost of Need to Prove want me to prove?

That I'm sensitive to people's struggles. That I'm intelligent (ugh! I say, rolling my eyes). Wise, generous, benevolent, empathetic. A "good" writer (more ughs and eye rolls).

And that's why I won't let go––and if you see yourself in these lines, why you won't either.

But there's a way to end this battle: look at the Ghost and don't engage. Don't respond to anything it says, smiling back at its distorted face.

Become transparent to its demands. With your soft front, accept that it's there. Supported by your strong back, stay grounded on who you are.

What demands of the Ghost will you smile back at to free yourself from its grip?

Love,

Carolina