#155 – Why is it so hard to hear 'no?'

Because asking takes courage. And if we do it and we're told 'no,' we feel crushed.

Your Ego has convinced you that asking (especially for help) puts you in an inferior position. If you ask, it's because you need. If you need, you're insufficient. If you're insufficient, you're less than, weak. Worthless. So, please hide it the best you can.

But so, say you've ignored those nasty comments by your Ego and gone ahead and asked anyway. Your legs are shaking, heart beating fast. And then the response is, "no."

To reinforce its lesson, your Ego sends its crony, the Ghost of Misplaced Shame to flood your face with heat. Your ears are steaming, you don't know what to do with your face. You turn around, maybe you purse your lips and send your nose to the sky, and your eyebrows lift a little. The denier will get your cold shoulder for some time, until they atone for their offense.

That's why, if we want to get better at asking for help, we need to get better at hearing 'no.'

But hearing 'no' isn't a personal failure, it's a skill to be developed. In his book, Million Dollar Weekend, entrepreneur Noah Kagan argues that the ability to hear 'no' isn't just a psychological hurdle—it's a fundamental skill of success.

How can you become better at hearing 'no?'

Love,

Carolina