When your goals conflict
Mar 20, 2026 7:11 am
Hi , hope you're enjoying the sun.
Let’s talk about goals.
There are many, and they need discussing, organising, and prioritising to make sure your behaviour is not in constant conflict.
As the stoic phrase goes:
“If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favourable.” - Seneca
And in a line, here's the issue that many of us are facing (including me).
Our knowledge of what to do (how to behave) is often due to a lack of goal, or conflicting goals,
We're behavioural creatures in highly complicated world.
We’ve learnt many behaviours as children that - now as adults - conflict with what or who we'd like to be.
Think of a growing young boy who's encouraged to eat everything in front of him who, now at 40, is unaware that his see-food-and-eat-it joke is continuing his growth trajectory past healthy.
Losing weight (now goal) is a struggle for him because he’s not got rid of old behaviours.
I've been thinking about Intermittent Fasting a lot lately.
After doing it for years, I'm aware that it's a behaviour that now challenges my goals.
I'm not writing this with a blanket 'good or bad?'
Just whether it's right for me now.
If you're interested, I'll share a few reasons below - just to demonstrate how many goals are involved.
Reasons for Intermittent Fasting (delaying breakfast:
- I love the independence from food
- It means less barriers before I can get on with my day
- There're health benefits to fasting
- I feel more focused in the morning
- Breakfast doesn't interrupt my AM training
- It's an easy way to reduce my calories
- I feel powerful and it's become part of my identity.
Reasons against it right now:
- Late higher calorie dinners damage my sleep
- Coffee on an empty stomach is unpleasant
- There're health benefits to not fasting
- Hunger can be distracting
- Less meals per day = less opportunity for variation
- I'm becoming less militant with my diet
The number of pro/cons is unimportant.
So is what some 18 year-old influencer says on Instagram.
All that matters is taking the time to think:
- When did this behaviour start, and what was it originally solving?
- Is that a problem I still have?
- If so, is this the best solution?
- What's it costing me today?
- (My fave question) If I were a Sims character/ if someone new took over my life, would this behaviour be one they choose?
These questions might help you lay out what behaviour you'd like, to help you achieve a goal.
Remember the Latin for Status quo (ante) means the state in which things were…
Status- the state
Quo- in which
Ante- (things were)
Were is past tense.
What's your status quo nunc (today)?
Cheers
Live by design, not default.
James - humans BEING
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Disclaimer:The information I share is for education and general interest only. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or a substitute for professional care. Please do not start or stop any medication or supplement without guidance from a qualified health professional who knows your personal history.
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