Hi , hope you're thriving.

I wrote this post on a Brain Injury Forum on Reddit a while back and it got some really positive feedback.

I'm sharing it with you, if you're interested - as I think it contains some real gems, and lessons that muggles without a head injury would value just as much.

People with TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) can struggle to read, so I also turned it into a voice recording.

So if you'd prefer to go cut some veg or hang your laundry now, feel free to click the link below instead.

Listen to it here - or read along with it. I sped it up very slightly too!

And, just before we go:

It doesn't matter what challenge/trauma life has thrown at you. They can all give you similar lessons: family grief, financial challenges, mental health, heartbreak.

So, please, keep that in mind when reading this.

Start of Post:

"

I WISH, i could go back to 2018, when I was at home recovering from my bike/car collision with two brain bleeds and a fractured skull, and simply give myself a hug.

I wish I could say to myself "Don't worry, you'll be more than fine. This will make one hell of a story, and this will MAKE you."

Because, at the time, like some of you reading - I had no idea how much of a recovery I was due. And I had no idea how to think about the brain damage, because brain injuries don't make it easy for you to think.

I became a do-er. Not a thinker, not a sitting still kind of guy.

It heightened my already restless 23 year old self.

BUT - years later. I'm through it, and just wanted to share some lessons I learnt, that I think will help anyone on here.

If you're reading - perhaps you've had a TBI. Perhaps you're a parent, partner or friend of someone who's gone through this. Even if you're just fucking around at work, these lessons probably apply to you.

Quick note before i start the lessons:

I would like to say, to shout, that I feel very grateful with how well I've recovered.

And I know that's not the case for many.

I therefore carry a mixture of guilt and shame when writing this - balanced with a sense of duty: I write this for the net good of helping others and sharing what helped me, but not to brag.

(Ultimately this is probably the paragraph I find hardest to express).

I hope these lessons might help you or help someone you know.

I feel in a unique position to have gone through this process and out the other side, so want to give others hope - and share what professionals who've not had a TBI might not.

But some suggestions might be provocative and you might feel hostile or upset with what I say (If so, DM me and we can talk about it!).

I should also add I'm now a coach. I finished my MSc in Nutrition, did another MSc in Psychology and now run a business called humans BEING.

I help people live healthier, more deliberate lives - and take so many of my learnings from rehabbing from my TBI.

So, here we go.

-------------

LESSON ONE. Limit yourself at being the victim.

Don't get me wrong, you're likely to be a victim in any and all TBI cases. I certainly was in my instance. I can't remember my accident (or the following 6 days) but the driver admitted fault immediately.

Your TBI can and will feel unfair, limiting, depressing and so many other things.

But try to think longer term. 5 or 10 years. Consider if you want to call yourself a victim forever.

And, if not, try to work out how to accept that this is you. It might be helpful to consider what things, tasks, freedoms you are aiming to advance toward.

(Obviously there are various severities to TBI and I write this on the mild end, so totally accept that there's people reading where this comes across condescending or unrealistic. I hope not, but please forgive me if so).

But when I went back to uni, I could have really played this victim card hard. It took me a year to complete the 2 month module. A whole year.

It took my a whole day to write a 5 line email. I couldn't read well, couldn't drive and, even a year later once I'd got my MSc, I was fired from my first corporate job in just 7 weeks since I was so forgetful.

For me, one of the goals that helped me put my TBI that little further behind was when I (finally) got a promotion at work and realised that, whilst I might be a bit forgetful and distracted, I could actually do a decent job and any non-TBI worker might also make my careless mistakes.

But, there was still a future I was hoping for. I had friends and family to remind me of that. Perhaps I was also young enough to still have that endless ambition...

Be excited for it. Wherever you are, you could be somewhere further!

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to where someone else is today - and not even your pre-TBI self. They don't exist anymore, and that's more than ok.

LESSON TWO: Your brain is not your only tool.

I don't know why I recovered well. But I like to thank my fitness for much of it. I had just run a marathon before my accident and tried to get back to exercise afterwards.

I couldn't read well, felt tired and trapped at home without the ability to drive. So, as soon as the pressure left my head (which did take about a month), i started walking, biking and then running.

I wanted to train my brain, but that was very frustrating and slow. My body, however, moved pretty much like it did before. I was able to run a little further, and a little further each time.

It was really helpful, I'm not sure how to quantify, to be good at something still. My family looking after me couldn't run as far as me. Most of my friends couldn't either.

If it's not running, maybe it's an instrument, maybe it's learning a language, maybe it's painting. Whatever you can do that you can see improvements at.

I've now run a 220km Ultramarathon in a desert over 5 days.

I doubt I'd have ever had this ambition without the frantic desire to continue the discovery of my body. And I URGE you to find something for you. (Again, not for comparison - but to give you more milestones to work towards).

Not to mention, of course, that exercise is SO good for the brain.

LESSON THREE: Invest in rehab if you can.

This one is really hard to articulate.

The earlier you can work on repairing the brain, however that looks like to you, the better.

It's the same graph as compound interest for your savings.

If I could go back in time, I wish I'd put more time into looking for specialists to help me retrain my brain. I was lucky to have a legal case to support my rehab. But the system in the UK (and likely anywhere) is quite flawed in this aspect.

Simply: The Lawyers, psychologists and so on don't really care about FIXING your problems - but just ASSESSING how bad they are, and how much they are worth.

Whether you do, or don't have a case to move costs to, I'd really consider spending some time into finding professional support.

Anecdotally, a friend who was completing a speech and language degree was amazed that there was no one offering me to work on brain rehab/neuroplastic training etc.

I did a lot of learning myself, but there's probably a parallel universe where I recovered even more - it's obviously hard to say.

LESSON FOUR: No one is an island. Find support.

This is another lesson I learnt the hard way. Charities like Headway, ABIL, and online communities like discord, they can be really helpful.

Whether it was my pride, or dislike for wanting to spend more time on a computer, I didn't really seek out much help (despite knowing how many wonderful volunteers there are helping out).

I could also argue that my mild symptoms gave me some agency and belief that I didn't need the advice. (Whilst there's some truth to that, it's not the advice but just the support and connection to others that I would have loved).

No matter who you are, the science doesn't lie. Strong support, connections and people to share your stresses with has a life-changing impact on your wellbeing.

Disclaimer readers, I left this next one in but think it's less relevant to many of you.

LESSON FIVE: Nutrition. You really are what you eat.

I was studying a MSc in nutrition when I had my accident. I was a religious low carb/Keto guy before my crash and was not that happy to be on such carby/sugary meals when in hospital and after.

TBI or no-TBI, the brain works differently with carbs and sugar, vs Ketones. And I'd been playing round with high fat diets before - and went back to them soon after.

DISCLAIMER: very anecdotal data here.

I had a BHB Ketone Salt by Perfect KETO from before my accident that I'd been experimenting with. It's very expensive, but I was using it for my dissertation.

Ketones are metabolised differently by the brain (preferably in fact). So my thoughts were that adding ketones to my diet would improve my brain.

I do remember feeling a difference when I first took them after my accident (although do fear placebo here).

No matter who you are, I think brain health and diets rich in fats are vital. Limit the sugar you eat, and pay attention to carbs.

I really noticed, and still notice differences in my cognition depending on these.

LESSON SIX: Meditate. Journal. Most people have pretty wild minds at the best of times.

This one was really helpful for me. I'm highly extroverted and not that orderly. So life is quite chaotic for me at the best of times.

My mind after my accident was a minefield. Explosions of thoughts, interrupted messages, conversations with friends. Never resting, never ceasing.

I turned to meditation and journalling (the latter, I'd actually just started prior to crash).

The former gave my mind a lot more peace before sleeping, it also tired me out (I'd do it sitting up in bed and them almost perfectly slide down and go right to sleep).

Journalling is another form of meditation.

You may think fast, but you can only write slow.

So it allows you to hold onto chains of thought.

I was also very forgetful, and found the practice really helpful to hold onto my memories.

To this day, I LOVE looking back at these times. It makes me so grateful for how far I've come, and for the younger me for wanting, working and hoping for a brighter future.

LESSON SEVEN. Don't give up. Be grateful to still be here!

I don't know who you are. But whether you're here for support, to learn or just found this interesting - we should ALL keep working towards a better us, and a better future.

It took me a year to finish my MSc, which was only supposed to take an extra 2 months.

I had to wait 6 months to drive again. I was fired from my first job and kept forgetting things.

But brains adapt, people adapt, and there's something, somewhere you can do and achieve.

Go get it!

"

End of article.

Hope you liked it.

PS: I'm continually looking to grow this newsletter - and thank the new 7 people that signed up this week.

If you've been reading these for a while, or if you think any of these has been worth sharing, I'd love for you to forward it to someone so they can subscribe too.

Ideas are best learnt when shared.

Cheers

Live by design, not default.

James - humans BEING

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Disclaimer:The information I share is for education and general interest only. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or a substitute for professional care. Please do not start or stop any medication or supplement without guidance from a qualified health professional who knows your personal history.

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