How to Overcome Performance Anxiety & Why Less is More
Nov 13, 2020 4:16 am
Hello
Two of the biggest issues I have seen with clients in recent weeks has been performance anxiety and difficulty sticking with positive habits. Consistency has suffered during the stress of this pandemic and competing priorities of the Fall.
The suggestions below will help you get back on track.
Enjoy!
OBSTACLE: Fear of Failure
You think, "I care about the outcome. I play to win the game. Failure hurts and has consequences. And if it's my fault, I've let down teammates, coaches and parents."
So to protect yourself from the feeling of fear you do one of three things:
1) Focus on the fear. "The physical sensations and worried thoughts are overwhelming, and all I can do is ruminate on them and try to reduce them. I'm distracted and that leads to more failure."
2) Avoid and withdraw. "If 'I don't care' then failing can't hurt me. It works in the moment ... but I am disengaged and fail because of my lack of effort and the resulting failure still hurts because I actually do care."
3) "I try to be perfect and not make any mistakes. And if I do make a mistake, it is unacceptable. No one pushes me harder than I do. But I'm under pressure all the time and get distressed when mistakes happen anyway. I am so focused on winning and not making a mistake that I can't focus on what I should be doing in order to win."
HOW TO OVERCOME:
Understand that fear isn't what it says it is. Your mind is built to tell you what COULD go wrong, not what WILL go wrong. It is simply a warning.
The truth is you could lose, make a mistake, cost the team the game, disappoint people, etc. This is why positive thinking doesn't always work. The possibility of failure is always real, even if it is highly unlikely.
So prepare for success. Have a plan for what you need to do. Have plans for all your "what if ...?" questions and know how you would respond to each challenge.
ACTION PLAN:
Use the fear as a checklist. Write down everything you are afraid could go wrong and then 1) what you can do to prevent it, and 2) how you will handle it if it happens.
You will find that you can handle the adversity, you will be focused on the process of success, and confidence will flow from your preparation.
If you struggle with performance anxiety, I am available for individual consults at https://dreddieoconnor.com/telehealth-services/
Do the Minimum to Be Your Best
Why give that advice when you KNOW hard work is what's required for excellence?
Well, that's actually the point. The OBSTACLE is the work. It is hard and we tend to back off or avoid it all together.
We often get overwhelmed by our big goals.
Where do I begin?
Where do I find the time to do all that is necessary?
HOW TO OVERCOME: (watch video above)
Things have to change, and you can't change them all at once. This is where James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, introduces the 2-minute rule.
It comes down to starting. To showing up. To beginning. You can't get through it all unless you begin.
Take your big goal and break it down into a step that takes no more than 2 minutes. It can be less, but do not have a step that lasts more than 120 seconds.
If you are writing a book, your daily goal is to write literally one sentence every day.
This is what I mean by do the minimum. And here's why it works.
The point is to master the habit of showing up.
A habit must be established before it can be improved.
You want to make it as easy as possible to start a new habit. It may feel silly, but no step is too small.
It should not feel like a challenge. Stop before it gets to the point of feeling like work.
Then, as you feel free and excited to do more, add small steps that confirm you are doing the things consistent with the type of person you want to be.
Remember, the key here is to master the art of showing up and starting. Everything builds from there.
... Members in Success Stories are enjoying an extended video on this same topic. Go here to see what you can accomplish as a member of this community of high achievers, and be the first one notified when we launch again in February 2020.
Best wishes,
Dr. Eddie
Dr. Eddie O’Connor
