I’m flying down to Argentina this Thursday afternoon. Or so I thought.

I renewed my passport in January and paid for expedited shipping. My new one was supposed to come in the mail last week.

It didn’t.

Apparently, passports are a hot commodity right now. The state department is getting slammed with requests and the nation is experiencing massive delays.

I spent hours on the phone last week trying to get through to someone. The calls either didn’t go through or they would go through and then the automated system would hang up after 30 seconds.

First world problem? Yes.

Incredibly stressful and unsettling? Very much so.

My sole mission today is to figure out how to get this stupid little blue book before Thursday. I’m going to the DC passport office. Even though my passport is being processed by the LA office. And you can’t just show up to an office without making an appointment. But you can only make an appointment over the phone. But there’s no way to get through on the phone.

So I’m going to take a shot in the dark and explain my situation. Maybe they’ll throw me in jail. Maybe I’ll get put on the No Fly List.

Whatever it takes. Stay tuned.