#523 – How can you ensure your life unfolds the way you want?

The answer is rationally obvious: you can't.

But the way most of us "do life" indicates we're sure we can. We clench our fists and stomp our feet when things don't go the way we want, as though it were possible to "win" at life.

I've been losing sleep over the temperatures I'm going to be experiencing in Milwaukee: high expected for this Friday is -2°F. High! I don't even have an intuition of what that can feel like.

But this morning, I made the decision to be okay with it. I can handle the weather and I can handle life itself, however it unfolds.

The most interesting fact, I realized, was that my "not-okayness" with the cold wasn't about the temperature itself. It was that I felt like a "poor little girl" for having to go live in such extreme conditions. Didn't I deserve better?

Aha! That was the crux of the matter! I felt exiled, shunned. Like a pariah. And that was causing my worry. I was a victim of circumstance and poor me!

Tara Brach's inquiry came to mind: "the feeling is real, but is it true?"

Sure, it was true that I was feeling like an exile. But was it true that I was being shunned?

No. That was just a judgment I made about myself. In my mind, the Ghost of Isolation was stroking my head with its bony fingers (coincidentally, my head looked a lot like the head I had when I was four).

What if I declare that everything is exactly how it's supposed to be? What if I believe that winters in Milwaukee will make my mind and body more resilient?

What if, once again, I choose peace over power, and love over control?

Where will you let go of your desire for control so you can live freely and fully?

Love,

Carolina