#176 – What do you gain when you fight reality?

Nothing. Period.

For years, I bought into the concept of "create the life you want." I even had it as a tagline under my email signature and on my business cards.

What an illusion! Life creates itself and unfolds with you in it – whether you accept it or fight it.

So, what does it mean, to "create the life you want?" What does it mean – if anything – to pursue your dreams?

There are two options:

1. We can enter the territory of "manifesting" and "futurizing," which can be labeled as "wishful thinking." In other words, using all our mental energy during every waking hour to focus on what we want for our future and strive to get it. Or,
2. We can build a Self strong enough to lead a sincere life, in congruency with its core values and beliefs – while knowing that the overwhelming majority of the things that will happen we won't have a say in.

How can we then reframe life, and stop fighting it, even when it sucks?

If virtually everything that happens in the universe is not influenceable by me, I know that nothing will change if I fight against it or try to stop it from happening.

If nothing outside of my control is going to change, no matter how hard I fight, that means I gain nothing by fighting.

If I don't gain anything by fighting, there's no reason to fight.

What's the alternative, then? Accept it.

Yesterday, a judge denied my son's pretrial release conditions – again. He remains in jail awaiting trial.

As parents, our initial reaction was devastation. But then, talking to him, we witnessed something remarkable: through his acceptance of the situation, he showed us how to transform these difficult times into an opportunity for growth – not just for him, but for all of us.

These Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche's words seem to add significance to this apparently tragic circumstance:

“Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news."

Accept everything – the "good," the "bad," and the ugly. Welcome every life event as something that happens for me – instead of feeling victimized by things that happen to me.

And if I don't like something that happens?

Accept it as a gift whose purpose or meaning I still don't understand. Receive it with gratitude – although it seems to suck in the present moment. And then work on changing the tiny part of it which you have control over – that's what a life congruent with your True Self means.

What seemingly "sucky" thing will you accept and thank, although you don't yet know what it's for?

Love,

Carolina