#129 – What walks when I walk? The case for self-knowledge

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As humans, we're well aware of certain aspects of ourselves.

I know about myself that I like to write, I'm impatient, I love a well-crafted story, and I value truth and honesty.

Those are some of my primary processes: I identify with those aspects of myself and I want others to identify them in me.

At the same time, some other aspects I'm not fully aware of. Things that, when I notice them, come as a surprise. For example, the day before my first trip to the US in 1987, I didn't realize how nervous I was until I noticed my difficulty remembering how to pack my bags.

Or my impatience: I first learned about it from my PhD supervisor. We were in front of her computer, waiting for something to appear on the screen. In my mind, I was just waiting, but she must have noticed something in my energy because she turned to me smiling and said, "you're impatient, aren't you?"

These more hidden aspects are our secondary processes. We may notice them at times but not fully; we don't fully own them, and certainly don't want others to see them in us.

The late Arny Mindell articulated "change" as the moment when we're able to cross the gap between Primary and Secondary. He called this gap, Edge, and in this Model or Change, the Edge is where growth happens.

How can the Model of Change help you now? Say you want to make more money.

The first thing you need to self-investigate is your primary attitude about money. What are you aware of when you think about money?

Once you've brought to focus everything you know about your feelings, attitudes, and thoughts about money, you need to self-investigate your secondary processes, and that's going to take you more time and deeper inquiry.

To uncover deeper attitudes about money that could be blocking your success in making more money, you could ask yourself, "what money-related aspect don't I want others to identify in me?"

For example, I may not want others to see that I care about money, or that I see money as something important in life. If that's the case, how do I behave when it comes to:

• speaking about money?
• asking for money?
• spending money in myself?
• paying when I'm with friends?

Your task will be to catch "signals" in your behavior, so that you better understand what's going on. The logical mind won't give you a lot of information, so you may want to try some "alternative" techniques. For example:

• fill three pages with automatic writing (better in longhand)
• do a movement exploration: bring the topic to mind and start moving your body without planning
• allow any mental images, movies, music, colors, memories, etc., to come to mind
• take a walk and try to observe, "what is walking and what is not walking?"

And then, not trying to give a fully logical answer, just ask yourself, "what new information do I have about what I don't want others to identify in me and money?"

Once a secondary process comes fully into your awareness, it means you've integrated it into your primary processes. You've crossed the edge, and hence, you've grown.

What doesn't walk with you when you walk?

Love,

Carolina