#449 – What can you solve by restricting?

One thing is to abstain from engaging in the compulsive behavior that harms you. A different thing is to restrict and shrink, to make your life smaller so that (what you identify as) your problems shrink away.

When we're working on recovering from an addiction, we may think removal is the answer: "If I get rid of sweets, I'll overcome my sugar addiction."

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a fellow underearner. They said they didn't know what else to do to overcome their addiction to compulsively under-earn, since they had already stripped their lives of so much.

This morning, it became clear: they thought restriction was the answer––like I had. I restricted food and self-care; they restricted other aspects of their life.

It obviously doesn't work, because the void that made you fall into the addiction in the first place won't disappear with more restriction. If anything, it'll get even bigger and eventually swallow you.

If underearning is the manifestation of "under-being," meaning, we live as the shrunken version of ourselves, restricting isn't going to help us live as our full-sized selves.

What we need is the opposite: to expand. Expansion doesn't mean more shoes, a new car, a bigger home, or the latest tech gadget.

It means to expand into your full creativity. To expand your thinking, your voice. To take more risks. To let go of your old stories. To share yourself with the world, even when your hands shake.

What does living as your full-sized self look like for you?

Love,

Carolina