#160 – What happens when you don't look away?

You've heard it before: the only way is through.

But fear – that powerful self-protection-driven emotion that our Egos have us feel so that we don't change – sometimes makes us look away.

I don't want to die, so I don't look at things that remind me of my mortality: medical test results are a common example.

And because my Ego is hastily scrambling for potential hooks I could use to transform myself and leave it behind, it throws at me other things I should look away from.

That email from the client – what if he says he doesn't want to renew my contract? The WhatsApp from my sister – what if she tells me she's again using? My brokerage account balance – what if I've lost the gains I'd had?

The only way is through means that every time I look at those things that make me uncomfortable, I grow a little more resilient. I'm practicing my spiritual spine. And it's ok if in the beginning I just peek through a slit between my fingers.

Whether it's opening a dreaded email or facing a room full of people, the principle remains the same: we grow by looking at what scares us.

One exercise I use to help clients address emotions they find difficult goes like this:

1. Bring up the feeling that you can't be with (something that scares you or makes you uncomfortable)
2. Close your eyes and see what image comes to mind: that image will represent the emotion
3. Allow yourself to express with your body anything you feel like (stand up, jump, extend your arms, sigh, sing...)
4. Look at the mental image you created and allow the feelings to arise in you – don't worry: feelings won't harm you
5. See yourself going toward that thing (as fast or slow as you want); touching it, experiencing it as vividly as you can
6. Again, allow yourself to express with your body anything you feel like
7. Find stillness again, after you've directly experienced the thing

Eventually, you'll be able to look, see, and go through everything.

I think that's the point of life, no?

What in your life do you need to look at now?

Love,

Carolina

PS: I've compiled the first 91 essays in this series in a book, Unfolding Your Mind: Notes on Ghosts, Power, and the Self. If you'd like to buy it for you or someone else, you can preorder it on Kindle here. The paperback copy will be released on December 24.