#311 – What does the Ghost of Misplaced Guilt want from you?

Like the other rent-free tenants in your mind, the Ghost of Misplaced Guilt (GoMG) wants only one thing: to keep you small. Corralled, because it thinks it's safer.

To achieve that, it makes you comply with its outrageous demands:

1. Feel responsible for the world around you
2. Feel bad about things you can do nothing about
3. Ask for forgiveness for things you did that impacted someone's life, even though you didn't know it'd happen

Seven days after my son was arrested, I took an action that "has made the resolution more difficult," in the words of someone knowledgeable of the matter.

Seven months later, I'm still regretting that action. But I can't take it back, so why do I keep regretting?

My son tells me he wouldn't want to erase anything that happened––except for the harm he unintentionally caused––and begs me to stop saying "I'm sorry."

Yes, he wants to get out of jail, but he also knows this is a unique opportunity for him. For his growth. To have experiences and meet people he couldn't have had or met otherwise. To reflect on his character and how he's responded to things in the past.

I understand. But the GoMG makes my acceptance and surrender impossible. Because it tells me "I should feel bad," and "I should feel responsible."

And if I don't accept and surrender, I can't be happy while my son is in jail, which keeps me behind bars too.

Precisely what the Ghost wants.

Now, I'm at choice. Today, I looked at the Ghost and chose not to listen to it. I appreciate it wants to keep me safe, but I know that my safety doesn't require bars.

What regret did you drop and with it, shattered the bars to your corral?

Love,

Carolina