#305 – What's the meaning of true freedom?

Today in court, the Judge, once again, denied release conditions for my son, in jail for 206 days today. Yet, I feel at peace.

Is this what true freedom feels like? To be okay with what's going on?

In this state of deep calm, I feel my mind empty and strangely silent. Like the patients in the dentist's waiting room, my Ghosts and Ego seem glued to their phones, not eager to go into where the action is.

After the hearing, I noticed that my chest wasn't tight. The attorney's explanations didn't overload my working memory. And I was able to ask questions.

Then, when the Uber driver picked up at the courthouse, she didn't stop where we were and we had to walk 50 yards to the car; when she didn't understand the GPS well and got lost a couple of times; when she insisted on playing music that I didn't enjoy at a louder than comfortable volume, I didn't feel anything. My Ghost of Need to Prove didn't roll its eyes to make me use passive-aggressive language..

I later bumped into my landlord, who'd said he'd pay for something and then didn't, but my Ego looked up, yawning, from the couch and went back to sleep. So, I wished the landlord a speedy recovery from an illness he's experiencing and thanked him––for nothing in particular.

Why? Because I no longer want––at least today––anything in particular. I feel free of attachments, and I feel that whatever happens will be fine with me.

The true meaning of freedom, I understand now (although maybe I learn something else in the future, I don't know), is an empty mind.

A mind that doesn't react to stimuli, that can put events in perspective, and that is able to accept whatever comes.

What wants, attachments, and preferences could you drop to take one more step towards your freedom?

Love,

Carolina