Carolina Perez Sanz, PhD by Carolina Perez Sanz

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How do your well-intentioned suggestions impact people?

When "good intentions" miss the mark

#453 – How do your well-intentioned suggestions impact people?

I'm tired of myself––well, of my Ego. Always meddling, suggesting, "helping."


The truth is, it wants to be in charge because, in its exhausting arrogance, it believes its way is the Only Right Way (a definitive nod of the head, raised eyebrows, closed eyes, pursed lips).


And so I'm tired of hearing my attempts to control disguised as "helping suggestions."


Yesterday, after making one more suggestion to my infinitely patient son, I asked that he please flag it to me whenever I do it. I realized I have an opinion on everything he does, says, eats, wears. It's exhausting (for me as much as for him) and, frankly, harming.


The reason I do it is that I'm scared (my Ego is, of course): of what will happen to him (if he doesn't get enough sleep, if he eats too much, if he wears this or that).


My Ego believes that taking the "wrong" step will inevitably lead to failure. Of course, it arrogantly thinks it knows what steps are "right" vs. "wrong."


So, today, I want to commit to not voicing my opinions about anyone unless I'm asked to. I know this is the only path to freedom: to live and let live.


What do love and care feel like when you stop "helping?"


Love,

Carolina

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