#45 – The real reason setting boundaries feels hard

It's not you – it's them.

If you've been "educated" (like I have) to feel responsible for other people's feelings, setting boundaries feels like a horrible thing to do.

Whenever you try to set boundaries, the others make you feel "wrong."

They make you feel selfish. They try to convince you that you shouldn't need to set boundaries. That you should be strong instead of needing boundaries.

So, I'm here to tell you: when someone makes you feel uncomfortable because you declare your limits of what you're available and not available for, it's their problem, not yours.

They have a problem with your boundaries. And you have nothing to do with their problem.

But the Ghost of Need to Prove will show up anyway, urging you to explain yourself. You'll want to tell them why your boundaries make sense. After all, you'll do whatever it takes to avoid being rejected – right?

Forget it. You've got nothing to prove. Let me repeat that: YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO PROVE.

If you want others to respect you as you truly are, you must respect who you truly are (and stop shape-shifting to please others).

The first step? Set the boundaries that protect your integrity, even when it feels uncomfortable.

How did you learn to embrace the discomfort of setting boundaries?

Love,

Carolina