#393 – What attracts you from the other side of "I quit?"

To the exhausted (or afraid) mind, "I quit" can be like a Caribbean island with all-day mojitos and turquoise waters where joy and freedom live. But is it true?

During my last semester at NYU in August 2016, one of my teachers kept us posted about her daily marathon training. To me, she sounded like she was hating every second of it. But she seemed to push through fine.

One day, she came with different news: an injury in her knee would prevent her from continuing. She looked like a cubic ton of mud had been lifted off her back. She seemed to have been "saved" by the injury.

Then, I trained for my first marathon. I'd already run two half-marathons and loved every second of the training––but I also feared it.

During my first 10-mile run, I saw the Ghost of Not Following Up (GoNFU) in action, when I tripped over a branch on Virginia Key and I felt a sting at the top of my hamstring.

Immediately, I saw myself on the other side of "I quit:" free from the caked sweat and shaky legs, yes, but also mopey and sorry for myself, and limping. The limping was important, to show that I hadn't quit by choice.

Uh-uh! Not me! I continued running, paying greater attention to my form and the pain went away.

Marathon-running Carolina 1, GoNFU, 0.

But the fear persisted.

I continued to train until, six days before the event, I stepped on a pothole and sprained my ankle.

GoNFU, 1. Marathon-running Carolina, 0.

Freedom yes, but joyless. There's never joy when fear wins.

What wouldn't you quit if you weren't afraid?

Love,

Carolina