#202 – Can you handle time?

Do you feel sometimes that you have all the time in the world, then other times that so much time is going to kill you because the wait is so long until what you want comes to pass, and yet other times that you'll never achieve what you want in the short time you have?

This time distortion has a culprit: the Ghost of Time Indifference (GoTI). Whatever distorted perception we choose leads to mental turmoil, paralyzing us through either impatience or procrastination – two sides of the same coin.

That's what I was feeling yesterday, while doing my morning pages*. I noticed this sequence:

1. I was impatient because some things that I thought would've happened by now hadn't happened (my son out of jail, one big invoice paid, a discussion with another potential client already had)
2. The impatience robbed me of my "peace of mind"
3. In this state of mental turmoil, I couldn't sit down to write (and that's why today's newsletter comes later)

And then I realized, wait a minute: I own my mind, it's on me to keep it "at peace."

How? That was the question.

I kept writing, allowing the thoughts to come onto the page without judging or editing. I focused on my handwriting, the blue scribbles on the white page. I sensed my fingers pressing onto the pen, my feet getting cold on the floor.

Presence. That was the antidote. Putting all my senses on what was in front of me in the moment. Dropping into my body and my awareness of the present.

That presence of mind, like shutting the door on the GoTI, allowed me to return to the tasks in front of me, in order and with dedication.

I ended up not writing today's newsletter because an errand I needed to run took me four times longer than expected and when I finally got home, I made the conscious decision to rest, my mind fully present with my family life.

What will you create when you shut the door on your GoTI?

Love,

Carolina

*"Morning pages" are three longhand written pages of pure stream of consciousness, recommended by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way.