#245 – What conditions are you imposing on your happiness?

A few months ago I had a video call with a friend who'd moved from the neighborhood. She'd started her business but still wasn't getting traction. Yet, as we greeted each other, she said, flashing a gigantic bright smile, "I'm so happy. I know I should be worried because I'm eating up my savings but I don't know – I'm just happy!"

We often fall trap to the illusion that happiness comes from the outside. That we need certain, very specific conditions to be happy and unless our life meets all of them, we can't be happy – or at least not completely happy. That if we have no logical reason to be happy, it's just absurd to feel happy.

What if we could be and feel happy no matter what?

My reasons to not be happy now are abundant:

1. My son's in jail
2. I'm looking to make a living in a career that, even though I know I'd excel at, I have no direct experience in
3. I've spent a significant portion of my savings in my son's legal team
4. A federal contractor job opportunity I was counting on won't likely happen
5. This time of the year, the streets of South Beach smell like sewers

Yet, I've chosen to feel happy.

Am I delusional? Am I just denying my reality?

No. I'm making a choice. Whenever a feeling comes up in me, I allow it. I allow myself to experience it (sometimes I write it down) but do nothing about it – nothing to fix it or distract me from feeling it.

Is it easy? Not always. Is it doable? Yes. At least it's the intention I set for myself every day. Is it working? More often than not.

Can you choose happiness too?

Love,

Carolina