#537 – Why are you so successful?

The main reason we withhold our self-confidence isn't modesty––it's the fear of looking foolish.

Last night I attended an NYU Alumni event hosted by NYU's Tandon School of Engineering. On my way there, I remembered the time I interviewed for a grad assistant job in that school, back in 2015.

I'd applied for a research position within the communication office, but during the interview, the interviewer mentioned that I might be more interested in a writing position, so, which one did I prefer?

Even though I'd come to the US to become a writer, in that moment I froze. I don't remember the words, but the puzzled look on the interviewer's face remains clear in my memory. I stumbled, fidgeting with my hair, feeling lost and small and helpless. Who me? A writer?

If I believed to be a writer and then got irrefutable proof that I wasn't, I'd look foolish for having believed something false.

Journaling about this, I remembered a joking style used in my family: someone (typically my father) would tell you something you couldn't believe. He'd convince you it was true, and, after much back-and-forth, you'd believe it because, hey, he was your father, he would know because he knew everything!

The moment you'd give in: ah, ok, so XYZ is true, huh? he'd uncover the truth: you'd been duped and deserved to be mocked for your naiveté. Haha, you fell!

The Ghost of Misplaced Shame would then come to berate you, how could you be so gullible to believe such an obvious fabrication?

If I dare to believe to be successful, what will happen when the truth is uncovered?

That's where "why questions" come in. They make the argument not about whether or not you're successful, a captivating writer, a people magnet, or healthy; they ask why these things are already true, which removes the possibility that they aren't.

Then, your subconscious will have you look for signs that you already are that which you want to be, which will in turn build your self-belief. From there, you can only reinforce your identity.

What do you want to be?

Love,

Carolina