#233 – How can praise stunt your creative progress?

People who do creative work tend to fear criticism: what if they don't like it, we think.

But there's something more dangerous than audiences disliking our work – their enthusiastic praise.

In 2003 I started to write my second novel – my first one hadn't been published, but friends and family raved about it. I let a trusted friend read initial chapters because her validation meant a lot to me. Too much, in fact.

When she declared, "What beauty!," I was ecstatic. And paralyzed, unable to write one more word.

Every time I thought of sitting down to write, I heard her voice, "What beauty!," and imagined her peering over my shoulder, to make sure that whatever I wrote lived up to the standard of her idea of "beauty."

Your thoughtful comments, dear readers, bring me excitement and fulfillment. Knowing that my work resonates gives me wings, and I'm pleased.

I'm also afraid: will my next piece be as successful? And what if it's not?

In moments like that, the Ghost of Not Following Up pulls at my sleeve, trying to convince me that why don't I leave it on a high?

The Ghost of Need to Prove joins in, concerned that now the stakes are higher because you need to keep pleasing those who praised you, and will you know how to do that?

The Ghost of Clinging to Useless Possessions runs the show. It wants me to recall the exact wording of the praise (the useless possession). Then I'll be tempted to self-plagiarize – whatever it takes to get the praise back!

And that's how my progress will stop.

The Ghosts will tell me that praise, that nice thing that comes from outside but has really nothing to do with me, is the metric that counts.

But my True Self knows that all reader opinions, positive or negative, simply reflect the natural resonance between my expression and their reception, nothing about the quality of my work.

When has praise stunted your progress or sidetracked from your truth?

Love,

Carolina